Tips for traveling with children

Are you heading away for the long weekend? Let's be honest, travelling with children can be a bit like trying to wrestle a live chicken into a hessian bag (ever had to do that? It's hard!). Whether they're your kids or someone else's, there's a bit more to it than bunging a Playschool CD into the player and stopping for constant snack and potty breaks. I remember driving my parents insane on our regular driving holidays, and I'm not looking forward to the day my children do that to me!

Here are my top six travelling with children tips:

1. Take your Time

Small humans don't run to the same schedule that bigger humans do. Toddlers in particular love to explore and we all know that babies are unpredictable and love to throw a schedule out the window. So you'll cope better if, from the outset, you factor in lots of faffing, tantrums, toilet breaks and just general extra preparation time into your travel. That six hour drive you used to do? Yeah, get ready for it to take nine now.

2. Book Ahead

Really this one is a bit of a no brainer. It applies to everything - accommodation, entertainment, travel, transfers... everything. As an adult it's ok to not have a hotel in mind and just take whatever you can get. That's not going to fly with children in tow. Especially if you need special considerations, like a travel cot. Or, if you're flying, certain expectations about where you'll be sitting and a bassinet seat. It'll save your sanity if you know exactly where you need to be, when, and what you can expect. So make those bookings! Which means, if you were planning a last minute escape this weekend... well, you best get right on that!!

3. Pack Snacks and Entertainment

Have a collection of toys to be handed out regularly. Ideally, these should be things that have a bit of novelty, so not toys that they already play with every day. I like to pack things like colouring books and crayons, stickers, board books and the like. Also, don't give them everything all at once. Ration that entertainment out, otherwise you'll be stuck with constant laments of "I'm bored!" and "Are we there yet?"

Pack snacks. There is totally something to be said for ordering food when out, but what if that food isn't suitable? Or isn't served at the right time? Pack a few things that you know your kids will eat and that travel relatively well without special conditions and temperatures. Think sultanas, sandwiches, muffins (like my apple and oatmeal muffins) fruit, crackers and cheese. Really resist the urge to feed them too many sugary things... do you really want to be stuck with a small child who has consumed their own body weight in sugar and has nowhere else to go? Exactly.

4. Let the children know what to expect

Children really do understand more than we give them credit for. Explain to them what is going to be happening and what they can expect so it's not a complete shock for them. It's hard enough as an adult to fall asleep in a new bed, imagine how hard it would be for a small child! Tell them what to expect so that you can remind them of the conversation when things are happening, and they have time to get excited and think about all the new things that will happen.

5. Everybody does not need their own bag 

Pro tip. Don't let everyone have their own unique bag. There is nothing worse than getting to your destination and realising you are short a piece of luggage. Of course, that would probably be the bag that has the special toys required for sleeping, the nappies and all the other essentials. At least if you have an outfit and bare essentials spread across the bags, it probably won't be too bad a disaster. 

6. Stick to a routine

I know from experience that my children are at their best when I roughly follow their daily routine. They need to sleep at a certain time and eat at a certain time to be cheerful. So keep that in mind when you're planning a getaway - the most enjoyable holiday might be one that's closer to home instead of taking a long haul trip away.

Organisation is really the key. Make sure your bags are packed early, and pack the car in advance. Pick the right time to travel - if your kids are good sleepers, it might work better to travel overnight so they sleep for most of the journey. Alternatively, it might be best to get an early start... work around nap times so that you don't have tired and cranky little complainers.

Want some more travel tips? See this series by Lifestyles of the Modern Mum:

• Travelling with baby - the flight
• Travelling with baby - packing
• Travelling with baby - the passport picture

What are your sanity saving tips for travelling with children?

What's in my hospital bag for giving birth

Last weekend at the 35 week mark or thereabouts, I had a bit of a scare that I was in early labour. Well, I wasn't having that, and after walking about (for HOURS!) and some stern words to Attila that I had Lion King tickets booked for the following day and no intention of missing out, he settled down.

However, it was a timely reminder that Mr Fork and I should probably get those bags packed, especially because Ellie also came early and we've been warned to prepare for a potentially earlier and faster arrival with Attila. So, when daylight broke, we rushed around and frantically packed.

Of course, after that, I have repacked several times since, but this is what I have in my bag so far.

 

• Awesome comfy pyjamas from Forever 21 (courtesy of my awesome baker friend) for lounging
• Sorella and Me nursing singlet (except mine is black)
• Bamboo breastpads
• Funky slippers (similar here)
• Comfy maternity pants that can be worn high or low and that I can sleep and lounge in when people visit (similar here)
• A selection of snacks, including various Bar Counter goodies (I got mine from Coles)

I also have the boring, yet necessary things:

• Maternity bras
• Maternity pads
• Knickers
• Toiletries (including but not limited to my own shampoo/conditioner, moisturiser, shower gel and lipgloss)
• A loose dress and a nighty in case pants are uncomfortable
• Thongs for the shower

For Attila:

• Several onesies (mostly 00000 but a 0000 in case)
• Several singlets
• Cute beanies and mittens
• Muslin wraps and a blankie
• Baby wipes and tiny nappies
• Small gifts to give Ellie

When labour happens, the following things are also to be thrown into my bag:

• iPhone and iPad, with associated chargers

Tell me, have I forgotten anything? Can I reduce what I'm taking any?

Tips for transitioning an only child to a big sister

This week marked the last week of work for me. All of a sudden, Attila's arrival is becoming that much closer. I've been spending lots of time resting, and lots of time with Ellie as well. She had her second birthday recently, and has morphed into a "two-nager" - lots of meltdowns, lots of temper tantrums, but lots of development too. Her speech improves daily and I keep seeing bigger snippets of personality coming through. She's a real delight most of the time. It has me wondering though, have I done enough to prepare her for the changes which come along with a new baby in the house. After all, she has been the sole centre of my parenting world for two years now... how will having a younger sibling change that dynamic?

We've been doing a couple of things to help prepare her for a new arrival:

• We have been reading books which talk about siblings, and sharing, and how babies grow in mama's tummy
• Mr Fork and I have been running scenarios by each other, and how we plan to react if they happen. For example, if she gets jealous and says she hates mama and the baby, Mr Fork will stay calm and say that he loves mama and Attila and we all love Ellie too
• I've been letting her pat my belly as it grows, and tell her that there is a little brother in there and she has to use gentle hands with him. She loves to blow raspberries on it
• Grandma and Grandad gave her a baby doll of her own at her birthday. She loves it, and carries it around with her, so I'm hoping she can mimic me when I need to look after Attila. She already asks to tuck baby in and change his nappy
• Also for her birthday, she was also given lots of toys that she can play with independently, such as duplo, dolls to dress up, colouring things and play food and high tea sets. The aim is that these are things she can play with beside me with minimal input
• As soon as I could share, I told daycare about our news and they've been working with her too. They give her 'baby' dolls to look after and read her books. They're getting the children in her room interested in all things baby to be honest
• In my hospital bag, I have packed some presents for Attila to give to her that she can play with while visiting in hospital. Little things, like bubble mixes and some Sesame Street pyjamas as she has taken to stealing mine (only just two and already stealing my clothes!!)

I do worry too how I will transition from one child to two, especially as I remember those sleep deprived early days when breastfeeding was hard and the level of care required was oh so high and all consuming. I worry that I won't be giving Attila the same level of attention that Ellie got as an infant.

Does anyone have any other tips to share to help children adjust to a new sibling? Or a mama to adjust from one child to two?

N is for nappies

Let's talk nappies! Right from the beginning of pregnancy with Ellie, I was determined to use cloth. It was something I wanted to do, for the environment, and because I think they're marvellous. I signed Mr Fork and I up for workshops and did endless research online about what sort to use, which brands were better and the must have accessories to go with them (handy hint, a little squirt or home made equivalent will save your sanity!). I stalked the companies I was interested in to make sure that I bought at the best time and got the biggest bargains going. I've written a post about things I'd wish someone had told me about cloth nappies before.

Some of Ellie's early nappies

I should just lay it out there: with a newborn, you are going to get poop on you. It is just inevitable. Sure it's gross, but you get used to it, after all, there are lots of terrible things that could get on you, and you are washable. If you get used to touching poop, then it's just one more step to rinse it off and wash the poop catchers. Babies need quite a lot of washing done anyway I found. It's just as easy to clean a few extra items since I'd be in the laundry so much.

Minkie nappies - so soft and colourful!

When we started daycare, that was one of the questions that I asked every centre: were they happy to change my daughter's cloth nappies? All of them were fine with it, but they wouldn't rinse the nappies, just throw them in the bucket I provided. That was fine with me, even if it did add an extra task to my days (ever tried to rinse off dried on poop? It's pretty gross). Anyway, Ellie was in cloth nappies full time until probably her first birthday when her day care said she was just holding on too long and wetting through too often. I kept her in cloth at home for awhile longer, and then folded to peer pressure from Mr Fork and allowed him to switch her to disposable. Much like the breast vs bottle debate, I know that there is no one solution that fits everybody and I will do what suits my family best at the time.

I have kept my stash of beautiful cloth nappies (and flats too!), and Attila will also wear them when big enough (I tend to grow small babies).

I do love the look of a little baby with a big fluffy cloth bum.

Do you use cloth nappies, either full time or otherwise? Any tips?

Eight ways to reduce food wastage

Thursdays are bin day around our area. Every week, I'm actually amazed at how little rubbish is in our bin. I suppose it makes sense, what with the composting, meal planning and cloth nappy usage. However, talking to other people, I understand that this isn't the norm and sometimes there is a struggle to fit everything in for collection.

Apparently, a huge source of garbage is food wastage - a third of food produced globally is lost or wasted, amounting to 1.3 billion tonnes. That's a lot of food. I'm sure it's not on purpose, but we all have those unidentifiable bags of goo in the fridge sometimes. Well, that costs both money and space in the dump, and no one likes to throw money away, which is essentially what's happening. So, here are 8 fairly simple things I do to reduce food wastage:

1. Meal plan. I've talked about it before. Not only does it save money, but it means you know what you're making and the ingredients required before you go shopping, so you only buy what you need for the week.

2. Portion control. Did you know that the recommended serving size of protein (meat, tofu etc) is a piece the size of a deck of cards? Suddenly you can stretch ingredients even further! And if you buy in bulk, no big deal because...

3. Freeze what you don't need. This applies to heaps of things. Got a great deal somewhere? Fabulous! Portion things out and freeze what you won't use right away. You can still take advantage of specials if they don't fit the meal plan, just store them so they last longer and don't turn unidentifiable in the back of the fridge.

4. Sniff test. Lots of items have a 'best before' date on them, but they're still perfectly edible after then, maybe just not aesthetically pleasing. That's ok. You can cut those bits off (and compost them too). So don't just blindly throw out food, give it a bit of a sniff test to see if it's still good. Obviously don't eat it if it smells gross.

5. Get creative with leftovers. Mr Fork and I regularly schedule a hunt and gather night into our meal planning, to use up all the little bits randomly left in the fridge. First in gets to eat them. But you can still "tszuj" up leftovers. Got some mash left? Make shepherds pie? Leftover roast or steak? Chop and add some gravy and pastry and make pot pies. Leftover rice? Make fried rice.

6. Learn to love the less attractive. So your carrots have wilted and you forgot about the broccoli you bought last week. They're still good, just hide them. Make soup. Put them into a casserole. Mix them with mash and make fritters! You are only limited by your imagination. My personal tip? Cheese sauce makes everything taste good and Mr Fork and Ellie lap up anything it covers!

7. Do you garden? Plant things in waves so that they don't ripen in one big glut and you can spread out the supply. If that doesn't work for you, barter. I have a friend who swaps my tomatoes and eggplants for her beans and corn. We both get variety and no wastage because we have an oversupply. I've also got the added benefit of swapping seeds with her to expand my urban gardening empire.

Passionfruit flowers in my garden

8. Store things properly. Invest a bit of time learning how to store food to get maximum shelf life from it. For example, onions and potatoes like to be stored in a cool dark place with plenty of air circulating. Just not right next to each other as that seems to speed up the rot. You can freeze some things as is, others need to be blanched. Lettuce and herbs hate plastic bags but will last longer in paper. Always reach for the cans and bottles with the longest shelf life (these are often toward the back of the shelf). When you put those away, put them at the back of the pantry so you use the oldest stock first.

How do you reduce food wastage? Any tips for storing food?

Eco heroics

Recently I was a finalist in the ettitude eco hero awards. I lost my category by one vote, which was disappointing, but it got me thinking about my eco footprint and I thought I'd share a little about how we live.

I don't really think of myself as an eco hero, per se, just a regular mum who sets a good example for her family. As you know, I use cloth nappies on our daughter and when we wash, its full loads only. Speaking of cloth things we are also big users of cloth for washing dishes, drying dishes and cleaning instead of using paper towels. Living in QLD, I don't own a drier as we get plenty of sun and I think laundry smells nicer dried in fresh air. We meal plan to avoid food wastage, and any food scraps are composted or fed to the dogs. Any paper scraps are likewise shredded and composted. We recycle, freecycle and bicycle as much as possible, and buy second hand where feasible. We have solar panels and our lights and appliances are off when not in use (although I think that's just financial sense!). I also sew, so old clothing generally gets upcycled into something new.

One of the big things that I think makes us eco friendly (and definitely helps the budget) is that I grow as much of our veggies as possible. We don't have a huge yard, but I try to make it as productive as I can - we have a dedicated veggie patch and a fruit section too, which hopefully should start producing in a year or two. Everything is looking lovely after all the rain we've had so I seized the opportunity for photos.

As well as flowers, our front garden has a basil plant which is so top heavy I needed to stake it, as well as that glorious purple chilli plant you can see there. These two are decorative and useful, especially for pasta dishes!

Wider view of the front - the garden behind the hedge is lime, lemon, mandarin and passionfruit vines which I'm gradually training along the fence. This is a slightly old photo and everything is a bit larger now. Mr Fork was a bit vigorous trimming the hedges, so they're looking a little worse for wear.

Here's the raised veggie patch, looking sparse at the moment as lots of it is still underground. There are some rangy cherry tomatoes climbing around the fence, some eggplant, some cucumber, celery, leek and a few other goodies hiding in there.

Beside the house is an area which we don't use very often so I'm making it productive. This boring looking patch actually has some galangal growing beautifully (yet invisibly) along the fence, and then in the mound beside it I've planted sweet potato. Sweet potato is awesome because you can eat the leaves above ground while the potato does it's thing growing underground. Very useful!

Gardens aren't restricted to just the ground either, you can grow lots of things in pots and containers! Styrofoam containers are great for growing lettuce - I plant a variety of types and just harvest the leaves as we need them.

In a sunny place under the stairs I have spring onions in a pot. Fabulous and pretty much ever lasting - I snip them off as I need them. Occasionally I'll do a huge harvest and chop and freeze them in bags for cooking with later. Also some pineapples. These babies are slow growing - it took a year to get my first one, and this is year two, when I get another two! These are seriously the sweetest pineapples I've ever tasted. There used to be rosemary in another pot. People say it's easy to grow but I just can't seem to keep my rosemary cuttings alive at all!

Here's the compost bin. Not very exciting, but it does make exciting things for the garden. I move it to a new position every time it's ready and full and the old position gets used to plant something yummy. You can also see some aloe in a pot in the background. It used to run wild in the garden, until it really did run wild and amok requiring much effort to control, so now it's contained safely in a pot for when we get sunburnt.

So that's some of my gardening and eco heroics. Do you try to be eco friendly or sustainable? I'd love to hear about it (or see your garden if you're keen to share that too!)

G for Gift Giving (for new mamas)

With Ellie's first birthday recently, I started reminiscing on where I was and what I was doing a year ago. It got me started on thinking about those first days after she was born – just how tired I was, and how tentative I was and how scary looking after my brand new daughter was. Some memories really stood out for me. I admit that I did a few things that with hindsight I wouldn't do again:

• We had guests and visitors galore, both at home and hospital, and those were frantic and hectic times instead of being a calm period spent getting to know Ellie. I would tell people to leave us alone for a few days
• I was stressed and I think that translated into lots of feeding difficulties as Ellie picked up on that. I would have been much more calm and zen had I been able
• When visitors did come, I didn't tell them when would suit me and let them come whenever. I ran around after them, getting them tea and letting them hold the baby – what I should have done was let them wait on me and accepted their (genuine) offers of help.

Gratuitous Ellie shot

All of this came to mind again as I've been invited to a baby shower in a few weeks and I'm pondering what to get the mama. You'd think having done it myself I'd have some ideas but I want to make sure I get her something useful.

 

I've already spoken about Mr Fork and my gift giving ideas for Ellie before, but I have some more ideas and baby related gift thoughts based on what I know now and what I would have wanted back then:

• If you visit a new mama, do not go empty handed. Those early days are scary, and you barely have time to think. Take her a home cooked meal, preferably one that can be eaten one handed. Pack her a few extra meals for the freezer if you're feeling generous. Or some snacks for when she's ravenous but can't leave the baby.
• If you genuinely want to help, that's a gift in itself. If someone had offered to hold Ellie while I had a quick shower, or used the bathroom or even had a 15 minute catnap I would have been delighted! I would have kissed the hand of someone who offered to put on a load of laundry, vacuum my floor or even just do a quick tidy of my kitchen.
• The friend who gave me a bag of baby essentials at my baby shower was onto a good thing. She gave me things based on what she knew I'd need, not just a bunch of cute things for baby. Her bag had panadol, nurofen, a bottle, a bottle cleaner, a little rattle, nipple cream, baby wash, powder, Eukybear rub… and so many other things I didn't know I'd need until I needed them! Don't get me wrong, I loved everything we got for Ellie, but really, she grows so fast did she need eleventy-billion dresses? Probably not. Especially when she lived in onesies…
• Something for mama. Not for right away of course, but when she's back in a routine. When you're pregnant, you're the centre of attention. People check your weight, constantly ask how you're feeling and gosh, even give up a seat on the bus for you. As soon as you have that baby, you're second fiddle, and it's a little bit odd. The doctor asks about baby, not you. Hospital is all about caring for the tiny human, no word for the person who grew them. So let mama know she's loved. Get her a spa voucher. Some tea just for her. Some special hand cream to guard against dryness from all the hand sanitiser.

So what am I going to get my pregnant friend? I'm thinking I'll make her a couple of meals for the freezer. A batch of lactation cookie dough which I'll also freeze ready for her to bake up as required. An eye mask for when those post baby hormones kick in and your eyes swell up from crying. And if I get the time, I might make her a wetbag as I know she's going to use cloth nappies.

 

Share with me, is there something you wish you'd gotten when you had baby? What do you like to give new parents?

Meal planning helps the budget and the waistline

Mr Fork and I used to do them same dance every night when we came home from work:
"What do you want for dinner?"
"I don't know, what do you feel like?"

Then we'd decide on something, realise we didn't have the right ingredients and either a) go to the supermarket to get them as well as a few other "necessities" while we were there or b) give up on the idea and get takeaway instead.

In the end, I made up a meal planning sheet for us to stick to the fridge. It was supposed to be used for all meals (breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks) but instead we just use it to write our planned dinners on now. Breakfast is usually cereal or toast, while lunches tend to be leftovers or sandwiches, and we found we didn't need to plan those.

It's just a simple A4 document, which I laminated. We write on it with a whiteboard marker every Saturday morning, and complete our shopping list at the same time. There's a bit of a system to our routine:

• If it's not on the shopping list, we don't buy it. So if we use something up during the week or need something specially for a meal, we need to make sure to put it on the list or wait until next week. The shopping list is also stuck to the fridge with a magnet so we can add things to it as we think of them. Friendly on the hip pocket as we know what we want and can get in and out of the store fast.
• We try to only shop once a week. Weeknights are hectic enough with the bedtime routine that we don't need to add a shopping trip in as well. Therefore meals that require the freshest ingredients tend to be on the weekends or earlier in the week, and meals that we can use frozen or canned things for appear later in the plan.
• Mr Fork and I both have a terrible habit of cooking up way more than we need. So we regularly have "Hunt and Gather" nights (H+G). That's when it's a free for all with the leftovers and frozen meals - whoever gets in first gets to eat it. We don't cook on those nights, and just eat up things that would otherwise have been forgotten about in the fridge/freezer. Less waste for the bin or compost heap. 
• We plan in takeaway nights and around upcoming events. If we know Mr Fork has an early football game on Tuesday nights, that's usually a H+G night or something quick. If we've planned dinner with friends or family, that goes on the plan so we make sure not to cook or to cook something suitable if we're hosting.

I didn't think our meal planning was anything special, until my friend the1337mum came to visit and commented on it. It works for us - just knowing that we have a meal planned takes the stress out of dinner preparations. Because we know what's happening, whoever gets home first starts the food prep so we eat (mainly) nutritious, home cooked meals which are healthy for both the wallet and the waist.

Do you use a shopping list or a meal plan? If so, how does that work for you and do you have any favourite meals to share?

Speaking of being good for the wallet, everyone loves a giveaway. The1337mum was lucky enough to be invited to KMarts toy launch and she wants to share the love with a toy giveaway. Head on over and put your entry in!

When sickness is not an option

For the last week or so, Ellie has been snotty. Not the contagious type of snotty, just the uncomfortable stage where we've had to get out the snot sucker before feeding and bed, and we're going through Euky Bearub like it's going out of fashion.

I knew when we put her in daycare, that we'd better brace ourselves for everything that was going around and that was soon the case, with Mr Fork getting snotty and sneezy himself.  I did my usual immune boosting techniques: I dosed myself to the gills on Armaforce tablets, vitamin C and zinc, and if I have to look at another olive leaf extract drink anytime soon, I'll puke.  Breastfeeding pretty much rules out all the good stuff, sadly.

To no avail, as I got whatever my baby and husband had, only it seemed to hit me harder (guess it mutated and got stronger passing through them first!). I hate being sick. Even worse when you've got a little person relying on you to nurture them and can't afford to bury yourself in bed the way you could pre-baby. Here's a photo I sent to Mr Fork of myself feeling sad and sorry while working from home so as not to spread anything around the office. Note the stylish pink Hello Kitty pyjamas. Don't judge me.

However, now that I'm on the mend, I threw it open to friends and the social media-verse, for their best "I'm breastfeeding and can't get sick with what the snotty baby and sneezing husband have" cure all remedies, so I know what else to do next time. Here's the top tips with some of my input added after:

• Sleep - hard when you have a baby, but do your best
• Know when enough is enough - when you need to throw in the towel, take to bed, and ask for help
• Super hot shower. A little extra tip I'd like to add here is add a few drops of tea tree or eucalyptus oil into the bottom of the shower so you can inhale it while you're in there.
• Sore throat? Gargle warm salty water
• Congested? Steam inhalation (I stole Ellie's humidifier so I could sleep better, laced with Eukybear inhalation oil)
• Tea. My favourite immune boosting one is YEP tea - Yarrow, Elm and Peppermint. It's good for clearing mucus, helping to sweat out the toxins, calming sore throats and helping you to relax and sleep better. Some people recommend adding honey, but I don't care for it myself. 
• Vitamin C. No brainer. However you can get it, fresh juice or tablets
• Echinacea and Olive Leaf. I get these via the Armaforce but I drink olive leaf separately with water as well
• Probiotics. A healthy tummy totally helps keep the rest of the system healthy too
• Garlic. I'll point out that it's better raw so make sure you take that into account when you're chomping into it!
• Soup. Add lots of chili, garlic and ginger. Mr Fork swears by chicken and corn and I make myself something similar minus the chicken of course.
• Coconut oil. I'm going to add a plug for this wonder product here. Great multitasking product, but in this case, I smear it around my nose to stop it going red and sore from the constant blowing of

Finally, for no good reason other than my pins looking hot and to balance out the heinous picture of my face above, here is a gratuitous picture of my legs. The photo is my entry for a competition about how people style their clogs in Winter. 

Do you have a favourite remedy for when you're feeling a little run down? Any cure all that works for you? I'd love to hear it!

Top tips for the working mum

Now that I'm back in the workforce again, I've realised that I can't just slip back into the position I used to have. Sure, legally I am doing just that, but in reality, it's not possible. I'm not the same person I was when I last held this job - I have added responsibilities now, and commitments which mean I can't spend the hours that I used to at work.

Here are my top tips for the working mum:

Be organised. I am not even kidding here. I am up feeding at 5am or earlier. I may have even had overnight awakenings. I then need to make sure her daycare bag is packed, my work day bag is packed, I have breakfast, my lunch is packed, I don't forget the breast pump and other related doodads, I look respectable in something without baby spew, my hair and makeup is done, eye bags are covered... well, you get the picture.  All of this needs to happen before I'm out the door at 7:15. I drop her at daycare, find a park, then get the bus in to work. Depending on where my client is located, I might drive but most often it's the bus. Getting out that door on time takes a lot of effort. I try to do a lot of the preparation the night before. I have lists on the refrigerator to help me remember what I need to do. This leads nicely into my next tip.

Don't be afraid to ask for help. That's right. You don't need to be super mum. You just need to be good-enough mum for the most part and spectacular mum when it matters (for me that's snuggling, story time and meals). When people offer help, take them up on the offer - they wouldn't ask if they didn't mean it. This goes for new mums too, a lesson that I learnt too late. When people come to visit the baby and ask if there is something they can do, say yes! They want to feel useful. Let them make tea, do the washing up, hold baby so you can shower and use the toilet. Going back to work, use the help you have available. I've delegated things to Mr Fork because he offered to help me (alright, I strongly hinted, then demanded he help). I've delegated things to colleagues when they offer assistance. They know I'd do the same for them when they need a hand. I've told daycare what they can do to help me and bless them, they do (of course, I'm paying them handsomely so maybe that doesn't count).

Know your rights. I had a heck of a time organising my return to work. I won't go into it because it's not relevant, but I will say, know what your rights are. You are entitled to have lactation breaks at work. You are entitled to specific amenities to do so. You are entitled to work the hours your contract says you should. Don't be put off by the sly looks when you walk out the door right on finish time because you need to do the day care pick up run. People don't necessarily know what work you do. You might sit on the bus answering emails. You might have started at sparrow fart in the am already. You might go home and work extra hours after baby is asleep. There is always more to the story than face value.

Sell yourself. That's right, you had a baby and that's a fabulous achievement but while you were at home raising a tiny human, the work world went on without you. Let the relevant people know you're back! Be active on social media if that's your thing. Reply to emails in a timely manner. Read relevant industry articles so you're across what's been happening in discussions. Be enthusiastic, especially about yourself. People will respond to that.

Not everyone wants to see photos of your child. Yes, you did a marvellous job and created a fabulous person. It's hard to leave that baby behind while you're at work. Of course you have an entire smart phone full of photos. And printed ones in your wallet. And home movies saved on your computer. Of course you're entitled to brag a little about your child. Once. Only if people ask. Some people just aren't into pretending to admire the fifteen different pictures you have from microscopically different angles. That's fine, I feel the same about car pictures. Don't be offended, just put a photo discreetly on your desk so you can look at your child and remember the whole reason you're back at work in the first place.

Don't let the non important things get in the way of the important. Really. Remember why you're working. You're working so that you keep your skills current. So that you have some adult conversation in your day. So that you're setting a positive example for your baby - they can see you're a strong independent woman with a life outside of the home. You're working to make a contribution financially to the household. But don't let work become the most important thing. Remember why you're at work and what your priorities are.

Be there 100%. Whether that is at home or at work. I remember reading some studies that said children didn't really remember how much time parents spent at work. What they did remember was the time that was spent with them. So, when I'm home, I make sure that 100% of my focus is on Miss E. I'm not checking emails while I'm playing with her - I'm letting myself enjoy the time that I have with my child. Similarly, when I'm at work, I try not to let myself get caught up in home tasks and thoughts, and I give myself 100% to the task I'm being paid to do. It's definitely hard, especially in this age of smart phones and push technology, but when you're home, would you rather be doing work or spending time with your baby?  Exactly.

Know when to say 'no'. I don't have to tell you what a hard job being a parent is. To add to that, you're back at work where people don't care that you're a parent, they just care that you get your job done. You don't want to let either side down, so know your limits. Yes, you want to get ahead and you want to promote yourself, but be realistic about what you can achieve. It's alright to say no sometimes.

Tell me, do you have any tips for the returning-to-work mum? Do you work with any mothers and wish you could give them advice? I'd love to hear it in the comments!