Vietnamese moments and reminiscing

Now that the recent holiday is fading into the distance, we've been talking about some of our favourite parts of it.

Mr Fork's aunty volunteers with a group of her friends to cook at a home for the blind on a regular basis. While we were there, we all went along too and helped out in the industrial kitchen. It was a bit of a social occasion with a good cause, and there was lots of chatter in amongst food preparation. While the picture below doesn't reflect scale well, that big paella looking pan in the background was well over a metre wide, and the 'smaller' pot at the front (with the vegetarian option) was half the diameter. There was a lot of food to prep and cook! It was also extremely tasty too. I want my children to grow up knowing that they are fortunate, and that not everyone has the same opportunities they do, and I think seeing how different countries live was an eye opener for them.

One of my children's favourite parts was when they got to feed koi fish with joyous abandon from the top of an (artificial) lily pad. For 60c, we were given a baby bottle full of fish food pellets and when lowered into the water, the koi came swarming. My little girl tells me with good authority that koi fish eating en masse sounds just like the sound of thumb sucking.

My friend's home had her very own breadfruit tree in the yard. The trees can get huge and have a high yield of fruit. I don't really see them much in Australia, but these things enchant me. Looks like they should be sweet and juicy like a mango. In actuality, they taste and cook more like a potato.

The same friend above gifted me a pair of shoes when I commented that hers looked fabulous. I often forget about the sheer generosity of people over there, and I have to be careful to keep gushing praise and comments about pretty things to myself because they are so giving. If I so much as looked at food from a street vendor for too long, I ended up with a serving of it in hand (believe me, when it comes to fresh fruit and sweet treats it's hard to say no!) so I didn't complain too much (although my waistline protested when I came home). Anyway, I recently had a belated mother's day event with some other school mothers on a Sunday afternoon and what better excuse to frock up and wear the most glorious red heels?!

Vietnam, you are just glorious. Full of wonderful food, fabulous people and so much to see and do.  I love the nightlife, the weather (my hair adores the humidity) and just quietly, I also love shoes and you deliver in spades (or heels?!). I love your crazy motorbike traffic, the availability of delicious fresh bahn mi and fruit with chilli, and the smells, sights and scenes we just don't get here. We will definitely be back!

It was a great holiday and a wonderful time spent introducing our children to part of their heritage and relatives we don't get to see every day.

Life and garden notes

It feels like the year has only just started, and yet, here we are past the halfway point of November. It's nearly Summer, and in a few weeks my daughter will have finished her first year at school. Where does the time go?!

On the days where I do not work, and it is just my youngest and I alone together, there is still a tangible empty space beside him that is quiet and missing a small person in it. He looks to me to fill the gap, to play with him, to lie with him, to be his childish companion and explore on the same level. Sometimes I can do that. Sometimes I am just so exhausted with the minutiae of life that it's all I can do to make sure he eats something nutritious for lunch and does something stimulating that doesn't involve lying in front of the television for long stretches.

Our days are bookended with school drop off and pickup. The mornings are a whirling dervish of packing lunches, checking that books, folders, hats, and everything necessary for the school day is packed into that overly large bag of hers. Afternoons are spent with a cranky child, tired from a long day of concentrating, yet bursting with so many new things to share with her brother and I.

School day evening meals are quick, where I have done the preparation in advance or meals so familiar I can cook them in my sleep so that I can have dinner on the table early, so she is fed, bathed and in bed with plenty of time to stock up on sleep for the next school day.

Days where I work are even more frantic as we leave earlier; I have the small man to drop at daycare, and we do before and after school care. She quite likes those days as she gets a second breakfast before school, and they feed her "better treats for after school snacks than you do mama". Cough.

This is my new normal. It is frantic, and new and sometimes so shiny that I'm afraid to grasp it with conviction in case it pops the fragile bubble that's working for us right now. The end of the school year is so close I can almost touch it, and is there anything full of more sass and exhaustion that a child near the end of term four? Maybe her mother...

I know in a few weeks we will have another new normal with school holidays starting, and the activity of the festive season. And then, the cycle, in all it busy-ness will start again, but this time it will (hopefully!) be easier and more familiar. In the meantime, I take solace in the garden - it's predictable, slower moving and not so much blink and you'll miss it. Here is my hedge flowering, and the beginning of an agapanthus flower in the background.

My geraniums just do their thing and continue to bloom and spread out happily. They're quite glorious to come home to and admire as I walk up the garden path.

My monstera grows new leaves in a delightful manner: a new stem grows along an existing one, then splits out separately and the leaf gradually uncurls from its tightly rolled light green shape, to form a darker green, more easily recognisable pattern. Now if only my children would allow them to unfurl in peace instead of trying to make it happen faster and ripping the poor fragile things (excuse my very dusty blinds!).

Speaking of gardening, I've talked before about the (free!) Science of Gardening university unit I did awhile back. I did a follow up unit as well which I immensely enjoyed, and I've since learned that the University of Tasmania is again offering the (online) unit starting again in December. You can learn more about it here. Applications close on the 1st December and the course starts on 3rd December.

Since it's online, you can work at your own pace. I don't get anything from mentioning this, but I will say I really enjoyed the two units I studied and had my brain stretching in ways that it hadn't had to in some time! It saw me investigating the role of climate and soil in shaping which plants grow in different regions. I mapped my garden on drafting paper to scale, taking into account soil type analysis and acidity, land slope, sun angles and block positioning, as well as localised predators (e.g. possums), pathogens and friendly garden critters. There is so much that I just never considered when planting my garden out - how it has ever survived my wilful neglect is a wonder! I'd love to hear about it if you do sign up.

Is it just me, or does life seem to be travelling in the fast lane at the moment?

Vegan snack exchanging

After the success of my previous snack exchange I couldn't help but let out a squeal when I saw talk of a random vegan snack exchange. In fact, I don't think I've ever been more excited for an exchange theme. As the only veg*n in a family of meat eaters, it's very rare that I get vegan goodies unless I make or buy them for myself, or explicitly point out what I want, which does sort of ruin the surprise.

The random part of the exchange was also fun. Random being, you sign up for it and then when sign up closes, all participants are randomly assigned a match. The person could be in a different country and the only caveat on the whole exchange was that anyone was welcome to sign up, but anything sent had to be vegan. As there is no option to communicate directly with your giftee in this case, all participants had to fill out a short questionnaire about allergies, preferences and whether they were happy to accept home made snacks. The exchanges don't really specify a budget but say that most participants usually spend about $20-25 (excluding postage), although you are welcome to spend more as you like.

I watched the statistics and analytics on this exchange quite avidly. Many of the people who signed up were vegan or vegetarian, but others were not although were curious to try. When gifts are received, many people post a picture to a gallery and there were lots of surprised comments about how some foods were unexpectedly vegan (Oreos! Pringles! Hummus! Skittles!). There were also a few disappointed posts about how they could tell their match had tried, but just wanted to point out that a selected snack had beeswax, or milk, or gelatine in, so wasn't considered vegan. I'm sure these were honest mistakes though, as I remember how hard it was to read labels when I started to vet my food in the beginning too.

Anyway, in the spirit of sharing again, here's what I sent my giftee:

• BBQ flavoured broccoli chips
• French onion flavoured chickpeas
• Spinach and wholegrain protein crunch bar
• Sweet carrot rice chips
• Roasted pumpkin seed munch snacks
• Lemon 'jelly' crystals (made from agar)
• Salted caramel mylk chocolate
• Chia seeds

I had a lot of fun picking out what I'd send. My giftee told me their preference was for savoury snacks and things that weren't too commonly found so I think I got it pretty right. I'd also baked a batch of herbed sourdough crackers to include, but somehow Mr Fork and the kids managed to consume them in between baking and the postage deadline, so they didn't make it in.

Here's what I got back. I really think my Santa went above and beyond with my gift. Everything was individually wrapped and carefully packed with bubble wrap (I did not get a picture of this unfortunately as my kids were all.... wrapping! bubble wrap! and deconstructed it all while I was mid blink admiring it all).

There was also a hand written note describing all of the thoughtful inclusions, and even suggestions for using them. I am really looking forward to making those patties...and eating the cacao spread... and, well, everything!

I was also really spoilt with some non-snacky things - a reuseable bag as a little love note to the environment (perfectly handbag sized and great timing with the major supermarkets discontinuing single use plastic bags!) and even some vegan Lush goodies.

I am so, so happy with my exchange. While some of these products I had tried before, some of them are also new to me, and I really appreciate all the thought my gifter put in.

I really love getting mail, and I love seeing the thought that all the participants have been putting into this exchange. I'm keeping a list of all the delicious things that pop up that I need to try! So many ideas and regional favourites I'm learning about! What would be in your package if you sent a food exchange to someone?

I did a snack exchange thing...

Recently I took part in a snack exchange through a site I participate in regularly. Basically, you respond to someone's post asking for an exchange partner, agree on a dollar amount of food that you are willing to trade (excluding postage) and then exchange boxes of local food. Sure, it might be cheaper to buy the exchange items off Amazon or whatever, but it wouldn't be nearly as much fun or mystery.

My exchange partner was from Texas, told me that her birthday was coming up and she wanted foreign snacks to enjoy. She had no preferences or dietary restrictions, but liked gummy things, chocolates and hadn't tried anything from Australia so was happy for me to choose a selection (she wasn't enthusiastic about Vegemite or I'd have popped a small pack in too). We agreed on a budget of $15USD for snacks, which worked out to be just under $19AUD. I think I got a pretty good representation of Australian snacks!

I always like seeing both side of an exchange, so here's what I sent:

• French Fries
• Chicos
• Allens Party Mix
• Twisties - both cheese and chicken variety
• TimTam - gelato messina choc mint and cherry coconut varieties
• BBQ shapes
• Pods - snickers variety (because Americans are all about the horrible Tide Pod challenge at the moment and I thought it would be funny to send actual edible ones)
• Chicken salt - surprisingly, this is a uniquely Australian seasoning and even more surprisingly is ninja vegan! Who knew
• Not pictured - half a container of a Favourites selection that I used to fill the gaps - Cadbury mini cherry ripes, moro, boost, dairy milk, crunchie, turkish delight, flake and dream bar

I wrote a note explaining each item, explained the TimTam Slam and why she should try it and told her I'd love to know what was her favourite item once she got through them all (Pods are the winner at the moment but she hasn't tried everything yet).

Here's what I got back in my box. I hadn't provided any dietary restrictions because I figured if I wouldn't eat something, Mr Fork or the smalls would. The only thing I said was that I would prefer not to get any American chocolate (I think it's not very nice) and when asked I said I was happy to have spicy snacks! Every single thing she sent was totally new to me and if I'm honest, I don't even know what half of it is!

Lots of it is spicy and some of it I think are Spanish or Mexican sweets so the ingredients lists aren't in English at all.

   

The bright lollipops on the right are watermelon flavoured and then coated with spicy coating (I think they're amazingly delicious). The colourful chain of lollies underneath are spicy tamarind coated things which are delightfully spicy and sour at the same time.

Interestingly, the twizzlers (root beer and cherry flavoured) are both ninja vegan and SO GOOD! I haven't had a gummy sweet in a long time and these were good (I wasn't sure initially but I quite like the root beer flavour). The Laffy Taffy (watermelon and guava flavour) is also a ninja vegan product and I found it a chewy, fluffy sort of starburst type thing. It was good.

My smalls liked the milky (real milk!) lollypops, and there were also some soft caramels which Mr Fork tells me were amazing (but very milky... he thinks maybe goat milk). Mr Fork also claimed the spicy Fiesta mix and warhead worms as soon as he saw them. 

It was a super fun thing to do - I had fun picking snacks and then the anticipation of trying something surprising and new-to-me was half of the excitement, and then it was like opening a box to get a glimpse of someone else's favourite snack culture.

I'd definitely do it again in the future, and Mr Fork is already putting in requests for exchange locations to keep an eye out for. I certainly have some places in mind I'd like to try snacks from... I've even seen some posts pop up where people are looking for vegan or healthy snack exchange partners too which seems fun.

So I'm interested to know, if you could choose a location to exchange snacks with, where would you pick? And what would you send in an exchange that was representative of your location or your favourites?

Urban trading

My eggplants are producing far too prolifically for me to eat and enjoy them all at the moment. Here's a picture of this week's harvest alone - eleven good sized fruits, and many more nearly ripe still weighing down the plants.

I mentioned my dilemma to a colleague and she said that her lime tree was doing the same. We just looked at each other and brought in a bag of produce to swap the next day! I enjoyed those limes as salad dressing, with gin, in soda water and numerous other ways. Limes are amazing!

Speaking of salad, I traded more eggplants to another colleague for some cucumbers and a lettuce. I generously ended up with too many cukes to use while they were good so I traded some of them plus eggplants for a pawpaw (which was delicious, and I'm hoping some of the seeds will sprout for me).

I have not yet properly learned the art of planting in appropriate amounts or staggering my planting, so soon I’ll have oodles of chillies to play with... anyone interested? 

Gosh I love my gardening friends. Who says that the bartering economy isn't alive and well?!

Do you have a group of like minded people you trade with? What's a hot commodity for you right now?

Resilience

Today, my (little) big girl has her kindy graduation. Next year she starts prep at 'big' school and will attend 5 days a week. Until now, she has attended daycare 3 days each week and spent the other two at home with me. We fill our time with extracurricular activities (swimming, acrobatics), social catch ups with friends and learning through doing regular every day activities like library visits, cooking, gardening and playing.

It will be strange to hand over the bulk of her days to someone else. I used to think having one child was hard, and then I had a second and wondered what I complained about. Now as I prepare to have days with only one child again, I wonder how I will cope. How he will cope without his big sister and constant companion. How she will cope at school without me. Have I laid a strong enough foundation for her to build on? I hope so.

I was harvesting my neglected garden recently. It's a bit sad - the basil is defiantly dry and crispy, the leafy greens are present but wispy and bug eaten and the rosemary is looking rather brown. Surprisingly though (or not) because of all the drenching rains we've had lately, my eggplants are thriving. The other herbs are lush and green, and the onions that sprouted in my pantry are pushing through green growth and developing seeds in an effort to preserve themselves and give me future onions. If I'm honest, if I cut the basil back it will come back better than ever. The greens are seeding and when planted will be so strong and healthy. The rosemary will come good with love. I guess it's the compost and chicken poo I lavished deep in those beds paying off for me.

I even have a little self seeded marigold, standing proud next to those previously mentioned onions and doing it's best to repel pests and bring in bees.

What I guess I'm getting at is, gardens, just like people, are resilient. Putting in early work and enthusiasm and love is so worth it, and even with a little distance there, the things you grow and reap are wonderful surprises.

 

She'll be fine. And so will I.

What are you grateful for?

Brought to you by Nuffnang and Circa Home

When I was growing up, I lived in a house that had a view of the ocean from pretty much the entire top floor. If I opened the windows in my bedroom at night, I could fall asleep to the sound of the ocean waves and the smell of salt in the air. It was a five minute walk from my house to the beach, and you better believe I took full advantage of that fact! From the ground up to the veranda, a honey suckle vine grew prolifically, which smelled amazing, and was a constant source of fun - I ripped many a flower apart to get at that delicious nectar. I do miss that house so.

When Circa Home gifted me a honeyflower and sandalwood candle to try, my mind immediately took me back to that house where I grew up, even though I haven't been anywhere near it for so long. Then I realised that honeyflower and honey suckle are completely different flowers, but it was too late and I was too far along a walk down memory lane to want to turn back! 

I like to take what I call 'mental photographs' of meaningful experiences in my life, taking a few minutes to freeze the scene in my mind. To really experience the taste, the smells, the sights and sounds, the way I feel and what's going on around me. iPhone pictures and videos are great, but what makes a memory for me are the textures of the day - I take a few seconds to grab them and hold them close so I can recall each moment later in high clarity. I can still look back and remember those times in great detail, how I felt, what I was doing and the thing that made that moment great. It only takes hearing a song again, or smelling a familiar scent, and I can be cast back into many a great memory. Just the smell of my babies when they come in to snuggle with me in the mornings evokes many a fond memory too.

The Circa Home honeyflower and sandalwood candle smells amazing, and I'm grateful that it took me to a place where I have such happy memories. There is something infinitely calming about glowing candlelight and being surrounded by a lovely scent. It helps me unwind and relax, another thing for which I am grateful.

You can win a Mother's Day Gratitude Gift pack from Circa Home which includes the lovely honeyflower and sandalwood candle among other great items. I encourage you to enter; I'd love for one of my readers to win this fabulous prize!

Do you have a special scent that takes you back to happy memories?

Have you heard of Tsum Tsums?

First of all, let me start off this post by saying it isn't sponsored. I'm writing this because I had a bad purchase experience, which actually ended up turning into something extremely lovely.

Let me back up. Last weekend I was shopping for a birthday present for one of Ellie's friends at a store I won't name. There was a promotion at the time on toys where if you bought one thing, you could select another toy for 50% off. I thought, she's been well behaved and they look cute, so I bought her a pack of Tsum Tsum Squishy figurines (Tsum Tsum roughly means 'stackable' in Japanese). She chose Cinderella, and there was a mystery one included that you could only see when you opened the pack. Hooray (for my Frozen obsessed threenager), she'd gotten Anna! Except well, Anna has no eyes.

When I took this picture, I'd bought it a few hours previously, so I hardly think that she could have possibly played with it enough to wear off the eyes already. Cue disappointed threenager, throwing appropriate threenager sized tantrum. As we couldn't see Anna when we chose the pack, I admit to being sad and disappointed myself, and figured head office would like to know that there was a possible faulty batch out there. I also planned to take Anna back to the store and swap her over.

I had a quick google, and (although I didn't purchase it from them), wrote to Tsum Tsum Australia to let them know what happened, and to give them the feedback about product quality.

What happened next is a lovely experience.

I got a reply saying that Tsum Tsum Australia aren't associated with Disney, they are just a passionate parent who decided to import official Tsums themselves after having trouble purchasing them online. They don't stock the Squishys on their site but advised me to take it back to the place of purchase for a refund, and went on to say they wished they had an Anna to offer as compensation for me.

I wrote back saying, thank you for the information, I did intend to take my purchase back and thank you for responding. I also said the offer was lovely and appreciated, but unnecessary, especially given I didn't purchase it from them. I said that I would make an order through them later though as Ellie had by now become Tsum Tsum obsessed and they obviously knew their Tsums.

To cut to the chase. I arrived home on Wednesday to find an envelope in my letter box with a tiny Marie (from the Aristocats) Tsum inside, and a note saying that they hoped this made up for a disappointing prior experience. They had tracked down my address from the contact form submission and sent an official fluffy Tsum Tsum out of the goodness of their heart!

Marie is not plastic like the Squishy, but tiny, fluffy and a very cute stuffed toy. Look at her! She even has a fuzzy tail (you can see some of the fluff in the picture below, as well as on her head).

That is customer service, above and beyond, for someone who wasn't even their customer. It made mine, and most certainly Ellie's day too.

So, if you ever want to expand your Tsum Tsum collection, and you want something that is authentic, from a business who is passionate about quality and service, may I suggest you look to Tsum Tsum Australia, for all your cute, stackable needs!

On roles and responsibilities

Earlier this week, I had a flat tyre. I first noticed it when I was dropping Ellie and Jimmy at daycare. I was in a rush as I had a meeting to get to, so I didn't have time to fix it right then. My short term plan of attack was to drive it slowly to the nearest bus way, park so I could get to work and then let the problem belong to after-work Lisa. My longer plan solution was that I would call my roadside assist centre and have them help me change the tyre after work.

After leaving work, I decided that roadside assist would take far too long to arrive during peak hour, and so I called Mr Fork to come and help me change the tyre on the side of the road as I didn't feel safe driving to a service station to inflate it and getting it home to change it.

Anyway, while Mr Fork was changing the tyre by the side of the road, and I was entertaining the kids who were in the back seat of his car, a man walked by. I should preface this story by also mentioning that this man did not offer to help at all. Instead, he took in the situation, and then said, and I quote "you need to give him something nice to say thank you ". I looked at this man, walking his dog with nary an offer of assistance, and in my sweetest tones, I responded "what, more than the knowledge that his wife will arrive home safely?" That should have been it, but he clearly wanted to get his point across and waggled his eyebrows at me saying "yes, he deserves something nice  for helping you out". I was sweaty, hot, and rather short tempered from waiting on the roadside and having attempted to lift a spare tyre while wearing a pencil skirt and unsuitable blouse and heels. I glared at his back.

But it got me thinking. Is this a normal point of view in society?

I had a work conference recently where I had to be away from home for several nights. Mr Fork's mother had gladly offered to take both children on their non-childcare days, and happily cooked dinner for both them and Mr Fork while I was away. She even offered to have the kids overnight if he needed help. When he goes away for work, they just ask me how long he'll be away and mention they'll see us all when he gets back. I am just expected to cope. And I do. As did he while I was away (I'm also proud to report that he didn't take up the overnight babysitting offer).

He is a father, not a babysitter. Just as he is my husband, not a mechanic. He does things for our family, and for me, for the love of it, and because that is his role. Just as I do the same things. However, somehow when he does these things, it's seen as something extraordinary. When I do them, well, I'm just doing my job.

Does this happen to anyone else?

Birthday spoiling

It was my birthday last week. I love birthdays, and I love them even more now that I have children. They are so excited and it's fun to share special days with them. I was woken early (4am!) by Jimmy demanding a feed, and since he refused to settle afterward I had an early start to the day. Even the fact that Ellie had brought home a cold from daycare and shared it with the entire household didn't dampen my enthusiasm. It was a great day. I am past the time when I thought birthdays were about big parties, late nights and huge celebrations, so I really enjoyed a quiet day spent with my family.

I got out of bed in the morning to be greeted with a  surprise bunch of flowers. Ellie croakily sang Happy Birthday in her creaky morning voice, and Jimmy yodelled alongside of her (nothing sounded sweeter to my ears though!).

Lovely words and chocolate treats, and a new coffee plunger to replace the one Mr Fork accidentally broke a few days earlier.

Plenty of snuggles, plenty of lovely greetings and acknowledgements from special people, as well as some cake! Mr Fork sourced some vegan cupcakes from a favourite baker for the day. This one is a coconut rough flavour and it was deeeeeelicious!

This is a gluten free chocolicious cupcake (I am not gluten free, but this cupcake happened to be). Choc-tastic!

And, well, I may have been gifted a book so I could officially join the adult colouring in craze. Which is probably a good thing because I was colouring some of Ellie's pages before this and getting possessive when she wanted to mess it up join in. So now I have my own book and my own colouring implements and everyone is happy!

5 Random Acts of Mummy Kindness

It's been a rough couple of weeks lately, as Jimmy came down with some kind of virus. The kind where he was coughing and hacking, had a runny nose and horrible nappies and was just generally miserable. Because it's a virus, there is nothing to be done except ride it out and offer him comfort. It's been exhausting. He can't sleep well lying down so constantly wants to be held. It's one thing to wear him during the day, but quite another for him to be wanting it at night too.

His illness also coincided with a really busy weekend where we couldn't cancel any plans. Consequently, I'm more than a little tired, and there is only so much that coffee can do, especially when I'm restricted to one (rather large) cup a day in order to keep the breastmilk supply up.

I have always known that people can be really nice, thoughtful and helpful in a crisis. People rallied and helped us out where they could see a need. I am surrounded by friends and family who have their hearts and intentions in the right place, as do most people really. It's when there is no crisis, during the every day grind of life where sometimes those little acts of kindness can also make a huge difference to someone.

You know the times I'm talking about - standing in the checkout line, driving to do the daycare drop off, juggling shopping and baby while loading up the car, frantically running around the shopping centre to stock up on necessities. I think even on a good day, mums (and dads!) could use a helping hand - whether it's an understanding smile at just the right frazzled moment, or a surprise offer to drop over some baked sugary goodness.

With that in mind, here are five random every day nice things you can do next time you see a mum out and about:

1. Listen intently. Often we are caught up in our own little worlds, and we forget to slow down and listen. If you ask a mama how they're doing, really slow down and listen to their response. If they want advice, don't be afraid to offer it, but if not, don't be afraid to just sit there and let them say what they need to. A sympathetic and willing ear is really a wonderful gift sometimes.
2. When out without kids, or even if your kids are older and better behaved, skip that premium right-at-the-door parking spot with the hope that a mum who really needs it will get it. While I know it's not guaranteed and there is a possibility some young unappreciative thug will snag it, I hope karma will point someone who really needs it to the spot.
3. Visit a mummy friend today and distract her kids. Whether that means you play endless tea party games, take them to the park or run around in the garden. Remember how nice it is to have an hour or so just for your very own? Offer that to a friend. Bonus points if you bring along something sugary and delicious.
4. That friend with a newborn or a sick toddler at home? Call her from the supermarket while you're there and see if she needs anything. There is not much worse than running out of an essential at home and then having to bundle the kids into the car as an extra punishment for running out to pick up said essential. With very little effort on your part you can save a frazzled mama friend that effort on hers.
5. Speaking of shopping, next time you're out and there is a tired, harassed looking mama with a screaming, wailing child... look at her and smile. Not a creepy grimace smile, but a really understanding smile. Perhaps help her out loading her groceries onto the conveyor belt. Hold her trolley while she extracts the fit-throwing monster kid. Give her a kind word. We've all been there. Maybe next time you're the 'mean' mama who won't buy the lollies, people will be understanding and realise that you aren't usually so grumpy and your babe isn't so loud/bratty/wailing.

Have you received or given a random act of kindness lately?

I want choice, not obligation

So it's February, already, and there seems to be a common theme out there in the real world right now. Everyone is talking about their existence in relation to whether they have someone, don't have someone, want someone and so on. It's coming up to that time of year again isn't it? You know what I'm talking about... THAT day.

Valentine's Day. Oh yes, that day is well on the way. Pink and red abounds... in all the stores. In heart form, in bear form, in cards and streamers and balloon form. Pink is cute. Red is cute. Pink and red together is just a little sickening and makes me feel a bit like I've eaten a whole coconut loaf on my own.

Mr Fork and I don't really celebrate Valentine's Day. I get cross at him for spending exorbitant sums on flowers that have been marked up for the occasion. Don't get me wrong... Girls like flowers.  I like flowers. Oriental lilies are my favourite. The pink ones especially. They are not that expensive. Except on Valentine's Day, when you have to practically sell off a kidney to buy them. So I'd rather get flowers on a day where he doesn't feel obliged to buy them for me but instead gets me flowers because he wants to.  Besides, there is something about the weirdly perfect flowers sold on special occasions that is odd. Give me the perfectly imperfect version anytime!

With that in mind, Valentine's Day is still a day to celebrate love, whether that's with a partner, children, fur children, best friends, or even yourself. So I've put together a list of suggestions for celebrations that don't have to cost a fortune:

• Go on a picnic. Pack a nice spread, load everything in the car and eat outdoors for a change. It might be just me, but I think food tastes nicer outside!
• Bake cookies or other sweet treats. You don't have to eat them all yourself, you could share them around with coworkers and friends... but who doesn't love a little sugary indulgence every now and then?
• Take a bath (or a shower if that's your thing). Pamper yourself - wash your hair, exfoliate, cleanse and use all those nice bath products you've been saving for a special occasion.
• Sit down. That's right. Put your feet up. Do absolutely nothing. Sometimes, it's nice to do nothing alone, but you can be companionable and do nothing with other people too.
• Have a conversation. A real in depth conversation about an interesting topic. Remove all electronic stimulation. No TV, no phones, no computer or iPads. 
• Go for a walk. Go outdoors, enjoy the scenery. Take the family, take the hounds and go walking. If you're really lucky you might meander back via a local cafe and grab a coffee and a sweet treat along the way!

How do you celebrate love? Got any Valentine's Day plans?

Taking time out

I took part in the Sustainababy "Take Time Out" eco challenge during January to be mindful about taking time out for myself. Before children, I used to think that I was much too selfish to be a mother. Give up travel? Work? Buying expensive things - shoes, clothes, gadgets - on a whim? Please! However, even before I felt those first Ellie kicks in my tummy I was dropped right down my priority list. When Jimmy was born, I dropped down again. There is nothing that I wouldn't do for my babies.

I gladly switched to part time work (no work right now as I'm still on maternity leave, ha!) to care for my children and family. I use cloth nappies with all the washing, folding and sorting that involves. I meal plan, cook, clean, and also manage to blog, all the while making sure my children are stimulated and adored. To make up for my reduced work hours and therefore income, I'm frugal and eco friendly where possible too.

Unfortunately, all that doing of things for them leaves precious little time for me. So this challenge was one that I gladly got on board with, eager to carve out some small pockets of time just to prioritise and focus on me and my 'needs'. I say needs in inverted commas because the older I get, the less I find I need, and really, I just have a lot of wants.

Carving out time alone though, I found especially hard to do, as Jimmy still feeds erratically after his tie revisions, and flat out refuses to take a bottle of my milk, so I had to plan quite precisely.

Here are some of the small things I did this month to take some time out and recharge my batteries.

• When the children went to bed and the house was clean enough for me not to go crazy in the morning, I went to bed too and got some extra sleep in before the overnight feeds. Sure, I felt like a nana going to bed at 7pm, but I woke up a new woman and coped much better with the night time wake ups.

• I consciously made an effort to make some tea during the day and actually take the time to sit down and drink it while it was hot! For extra points, I made it in a dainty little cup to make it extra special. Sometimes I even ate it with a lactation cookie on the side. I'm a wild one!

• A few times, after a long night up feeding the nursing, I just couldn't face the day and all I was 'supposed' to get done. So I popped him into a wrap and promptly took us out for a piece of pecan pie (or something). Suddenly, all was right in the world again. Example of deliciousness consumed below.

• I went to brunch with my mothers group. This was an exercise in military precision to line up with Jimmy's feeds and I actually had him on the boob right up until I left the house so he would be cheerful while I was out. It was worth it, a ladies brunch was exactly what I needed to recharge my batteries. 

• Baked bread. Sure, this benefits everyone, but there is nothing like taking a bit of time to feed the starter and take a bit of frustration out when working the dough... with the added benefit of delicious fresh bread smell wafting around the house!

• I gave myself permission to take a 'day off'. So I didn't hustle to do laundry or clean or cook. I just stayed in bed with Jimmy and indulged in chatting to him and admiring those lovely chunky limbs of his!

How do you take time out for yourself to recharge your batteries?

Seven song titles to describe life lately

Song titles which describe my life right now:

• I Think We're Alone Now (Tiffany) - What I sing to Jimmy when I'm up doing the many late night feeds and trying to settle him... it's such a nice snuggly time alone with just him and I

• Zombie (The Cranberries) - How I feel after a long night where I'm up feeding continuously every two hours or so 

• I can't help falling in love with you (Elvis Presley) - Lucky the little fellow is so cute... what I think when he snuggles his tiny head into my shoulder and falls asleep... sleep deprivation and milk monster status and all

• Red, red wine (Neil Diamond) - What I wish I could have... I'm holding out for the time when Jimmy spaces his feeds long enough for me to indulge! 

• Bad Day (Daniel Powter) - How I feel when I just settled Jimmy down at 4am, Ellie has crawled into bed with us at 4:30 and then Mr Fork's alarm goes off at 5 to get him ready for work. It's going to be a long, long day

• Right Here Waiting (Richard Marx) - What I'm sure Jimmy is thinking after I've spent ages feeding and settling him for a nap... and he's planning to wake up again as soon as my head hits the pillow 

• Sweet Dreams (The Eurythmics) - What are these again? I've calculated I'm probably averaging about 5 hours total sleep in each 24 hour period... broken into chunks of time way smaller than I want

Source: unknown

What song title/s describe your life right now?

Attitude? Gratitude! And an announcement

It occurs to me that some of my last posts could maybe be construed as a touch whiny and ungrateful. So I thought I'd write about what is making my toes curl (in a good way) lately:

I'm grateful for family. After a rocky beginning, I can now announce that we are expecting baby Fork 2, due November. It was not an easy first trimester, I was severely morning sick, extremely exhausted and generally feeling like I'd been run over by a truck. Much worse than the first time as this time around I have an active and demanding toddler to contend with too. Hence, as I'm sure this baby is trying to kill me, I've dubbed it Attila the Bun (or, just bun for short, but we say it in Cantonese when we're feeling affectionate). I was holding off on saying anything until I had a decent bump, but here I am, 4 months in and... well... see for yourself.

Bump?

I'm grateful for sales and useful things. While Mr Fork and Ellie were sick last month, I took it upon myself to take her out of the house so that he could get some rest. 

A moment here to recognise now, the effort that cost this exhausted, sleep deprived, nauseous, pregnant, viral infected woman please. Thank you. 

Anyway, one of our trips was to Harbourtown so that a) she could get in some sleep in the car there and back and b) I could fool myself that I was exercising while getting some retail therapy and natural air and light. Anyway, Peter Alexander had 50% off all the marked prices in store. Hello cute winter top and summer top, perfect for feeding in, all for less than $20 together!

I'm grateful for unconditional love and furry snuggles. While we were away over Easter, we had a friend pop in and feed the hounds. She reported that they weren't eating much but seemed in good spirits... then when we got home, they shunned us and refused to look at us directly for some time. Which, frankly, wasn't entirely a bad thing as there were a little ripe smelling. After giving them a bath however, I was ready for cuddles... and they weren't. I'm happy to report they are now back to their snuggly selves and constantly making eye contact again. Toby (who is a reliable bun barometer if ever there was one) has resumed being my constant protector and rarely leaves my side if he has any say in the matter (Toby, like Ellie, is shut out of the toilet, but they both stand guard at the door outside). 

I'm grateful for gifts and for sugary goodness. The platter I wrote about in my April kitchen post was gifted to it's new owner... and she loved it! I am always happy when I give something to someone and I know they truly love it. It was also a lovely kitchen tea and I maybe ate a little bit too much white chocolate macadamia slice (but the bun wanted it!). 

I am grateful for the love of my friends and family. For all my friends and family who reached out when we were all sick and provided help. Whether that was watching Ellie for an hour so that I could nap, calling and checking on us, coming over to help with regular house running chores, or supplying edible goodies when I was too lazy/over it/tired to do it myself. To those who offered to do the above but I told to stay away while we were contagious, thank you too, from the bottom of my heart. To my friends who knew about Attila early and who stepped in when I was too nauseous to even get out of bed and risk standing up. Thank you!

I am grateful for having time to spend with my little girl. The #yesallwomen tag and the response to the Santa Barbara shootings has a big impact me when I read through what people around the world have to say. Yes, men don't often see the harassment that women experience. I think what affects me the most reading through some posts is that really, I had forgotten or just learnt to live with things the way they are, and accept them as normal. I consider myself a strong woman but I too have experienced misogyny both socially and in the workplace. I am grateful that I have the support to make a stand and stick to my values to work in paid part time employment. As I've spoken about before, life is a juggling act, and despite the raised eyebrows and the judgey looks I sometimes get for my choices to put my family first, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Early days but... those smiles!

What are you grateful for lately?