This and that

Trying to encourage Ellie to stop sucking her thumbs by making them pretty...

Thought I'd test out making my own thumbs pretty too...

I bought a pair of sparkly purple sneakers. They were half price, I'm guessing because not too many other adults want sparkly purple shoes. Or they don't have kid sized feet. My benefit!

Ellie and I got our hair cut, and she insisted on having a picture taken and sent to daddy from the salon (by the by, thank goodness my hairdresser is understanding about my two children causing havoc while she does my hair!)

We had my work Christmas party. There was a face painter there. Serious debate was had about whether a dragon or a butterfly would do. My suggestion to have both was poo-poohed, and the rainbow butterfly option proved a winner. Another selfie, this one she insisted be sent to Grandma...

Jimmy is really enjoying his new found ability to walk. This stage, where they are still learning to balance so stumble around like little monkeys? I love it so much.

I took myself on a date to see Les Miserable. It was a last minute ticket purchase and this is where I got to sit. Third row back. I was so close I could see the orchestra pit and the spit whenever the actors were especially passionate or enthusiastic. A really great production and one of my favourite musicals.

Happy Monday to you all x

Today, you turn one

Jimmy, today you are one. Well, technically, tonight you will be one, but we can celebrate now.

It's been a crazy year.

I can count on one hand the number of times you have slept through the night. And I mean that in the traditional "a sleep through for a baby is anything longer than 5 hours" logic. Since I also had chronic insomnia at the end of my pregnancy, do you know what that means little man? It means that I haven't had a decent night sleep in over a year. That's a long time sweetheart. Any time you want to sleep a little longer, I'm all for it. I'm sure your daddy can attest that I'm not my best (nor is he) without good sleep!

You still aren't walking, but you're really close. You will take the occasional independent step, but you don't trust your legs to fight against gravity yet. That's ok. There will be plenty of time to run later.

You love food. As in, you get a serious case of "hangry" if I don't get something edible in front of you pronto. And forget feeding you, you are all about doing it yourself. You have nearly brained the ever hopeful hounds multiple times throwing your bowl/spoon/fork/cup as they mill hopefully under your chair for the inevitable scraps. Your favourite foods at the moment are blueberries, edamame, watermelon, fruity sourdough, pasta, and stolen licks of frozen iceblocks. It's amazing really considering you still only have two teeth (and about 8 more all reallllly close to cutting through, Mr Grumpy!). Oh, and you love your milk. Lots of milk!

Your favourite place to be is with mama. As soon as I walk into a room, your eyes fix on me. If I'm not speedy coming to greet you, you wail and crawl on over to throw yourself at me. As though I had forgotten you or something (like I could!). You need to be constantly touched; you're a real limpet baby. It's ok, you're only this little for such a short while, I love the snuggles. Mostly. I'm a little over the fact that no matter how many soft silky things I offer, your favourite comfort item is my hair. No style is Jimmy-proof and my ends suffer for it. Lucky for baby wearing, otherwise your poor sister would never get any attention.

Speaking of hair, yours is so fine and light that there isn't enough volume or weight to hold it down so it just grows vertically. I love it, even if your one majestically long hair has now been absorbed into all the others. Your grandparents want to shave your head (as they wanted to do at your red egg celebration) to encourage it to grow back thicker and darker. We aren't talking a buzz cut here but really shave, down to the skull with a razor. I don't know how that would happen as you're so wriggly, but I have said we can have that discussion after your birthday, however, (not so secretly) I hope the idea falls by the wayside.

You aren't speaking much yet, but you understand a lot, I can tell. In fact, you respond to both Cantonese and English, and you're already more fluent than your mama you clever boy!

I had real problems thinking of what to get your for your first birthday. You don't want for things, and your sister is so good at sharing her toys with you. Your favourite thing to play with at the moment is an old birthday card of mine. It's one that plays sounds when opened (sheep noises) and you spend ages opening and shutting it and baaaa-ing right back at those sheep.

You're growing up to be such a lovely little human full of personality and fierce determination to get what you want. It's been a lovely (sleep deprived) year.

Love, mama 

Dear Jimmy: Today you are 9 months old

I don't usually do these sorts of posts, but this is my last week of maternity leave and I'm feeling a bit emotional about going back to work and leaving Jimmy with someone who isn't me.

Dear Jimmy,

Today you are nine months old. You have now been on the outside longer than you were on the inside (by four days!). This photo was taken a few hours before you were born. I was 38+3 days pregnant and complaining about how uncomfortable I was at the most pregnant I had ever been. I'd tried a lot to encourage you to arrive, but you had your own schedule in mind.

You are standing now, and trying to walk by pushing things around the house. Ellie walked the week before her first birthday - I predict you will do it sooner. You babble constantly, although you have yet to say any recognisable words.

You are sleeping better (by your standards) and you're pretty consistent with timings now: in bed by 7pm, awake for a nurse around 11pm and 2am. You wake up with a roar at 5am and refuse to go back to sleep even though 5am is cold and dark. As soon as daddy picks you up and puts you in bed with me, you crawl over and raspberry my face. It's extremely cute if I overlook the fact that I wake up covered in your slobber. You often try to eat my face. I tell myself this is you learning to kiss me.

Your big sister adores you, and I know you adore her too, because when she comes near you, your eyes follow her around the room. You are the perfect pair - she is my picky eating child, and you devour what she will not. She loves nothing better than to shower you with kisses (and yes, occasionally she sits on you, but you don't seem to mind that too much).

You have two teeth now; you still think you can eat anything and usually you do. Your favourite things to eat are pear, banana, broccoli, avocado and biscuits. You might well turn out to be my vegetarian child after all! Of course, you are still an absolute breastmilk monster, which completely thrills me after all our troubles to establish nursing. Since you refuse to take a bottle or a cup, I will be pumping at work and asking your carers to stir it into your food while I can't be there with you.

You are so smiley. You love anything that makes music. You can't stand to be too far away from me so I have become accustomed to cooking while you systematically pull everything out of the cupboard I have allocated to you. You are still happiest when you are touching me and I am happy to oblige by wearing you often. I don't know how I will cope while I am at work and no longer the absolute centre of your universe.

In the nine months you have been with me, I have forgotten that I am a separate person to you, just as you will soon have to learn that you are a separate person from me.

The past nine months have been some of the hardest, and most sleep deprived of my life. Although sometimes your daddy gets demonstrably cross when you won't go to sleep, we both love you anyway. Thank you for choosing me to be your mama.

All my love,
mama

Baby massage: our experience

I have mentioned before that Jimmy is not an easy baby. Prior to correction of his tongue and lip ties, he would wake around the clock every 1.5 to 2 hours. He also had digestive issues and was quite gassy and uncomfortable. After correction, he still wakes quite often, but thankfully not as much as before. I would call it a good night if I only had to get up to him twice, but it could be as many as six times some nights. I could probably count on one hand the times that he has slept through the night since birth (I count a sleep through as five hours), and he is just over eight months old now.

He has always been a difficult baby compared to Ellie. She was calm and would melt against you, and was quite happy to sleep alone, for decent stretches of time. Not my little man. He is quite a tense baby, and I find it very hard to help him soothe and settle on his own. This is why I do wear him a lot, but it's becoming a concern for me as I will go back to work soon, and I would love for him to be more relaxed without relying on me quite so much.

I've heard lots of good things about infant massage, so when Deb from Maternal Touch Baby and Kids Massage told me about her upcoming massage for digestive relief course, I was very interested.

The one hour class with Deb was a great bonding experience for Jimmy and I. Deb was enthusiastic, supportive and understanding. She explained the reasons for each part of the massage and demonstrated the techniques with patience and obvious knowledge. When Jimmy was distracted or wanted to feed, Deb encouraged me to attend to him and reassured me that it was not a problem. I learned ways that I could calm my baby when he was uncomfortable, and also a few relaxation techniques as well. At all times, Deb was really respectful of Jimmy and making sure he was comfortable with what we were doing.

After the course, Jimmy was so relaxed that he transferred beautifully from the car to the cot and then proceeded to nap for three hours. This is absolutely unheard of for him - I'd usually be lucky to get a transfer from the car and when sleeping, a single sleep cycle, maybe two if I got to his room in time to settle him before he fully woke.

zzzzzz

That night, he went to sleep at 7pm as he has done his entire life. He did wake briefly at 9pm but settled quickly and then... he slept through until 5am when I desperately had to wake him for a feed. This was the first time ever that this has happened. It was like a miracle, as for the first time since he was born, I got to sleep for longer than a three hour stretch. I felt like a well rested, new woman.

Since then, I have been doing the digestive and relaxation massage techniques daily. I've had some glorious nights of sleep, and some not so good nights too, but to be fair, Jimmy has also cut his first tooth, so some discomfort and waking is totally expected. He's a baby, and I do admit to generally loving our night time snuggles as well, even if he is so very cheeky during the day!

Baby massage is a fascinating aspect of infant health, and research has shown that it can help to:

• reduce baby's crying time
• assist sleep, sleep patterns, settling and soothing abilities
• improve wind, reflux and constipation
• reduce stress hormones in children and their parents
• enhance physical and motor skills

I'm so glad that I tried it out and I am loving the bonding time with Jimmy. Ellie has even been asking me to do it for her too, and of course I'm happy to oblige. I'd always touched and massaged my children but it was very good to learn some formal techniques and of course, I was over the moon with Jimmy's immediate results!

*Disclaimer: I attended the course as a guest of Maternal Touch Baby and Kids Massage, however I was not obliged to write this review and all opinions are my own.

This and that

Hello dear readers. I've been a bit quiet for the past week or so - there's been a fair bit on my plate lately.

Two weeks ago I took Jimmy and Ellie to see Playschool. It was a drizzly day and the parking situation was horrendous, so I had to park a fair way away. As we were trudging to the auditorium, Ellie tripped at my feet. Rather than trip over her and land on top of Jimmy who I was carrying, I sacrificed my ankle instead. It was a rather wicked sprain, but there is no way I could explain to an excited toddler that we would need to turn around and go home, so I gritted my teeth, sat through the production with a swelling ankle, then hobbled home for restorative icing, elevation and bandaging. I'm still hobbling around a little, but the swelling is much reduced and definitely less painful. I know that it's taking a long time to heal, but really, when I have to run around after an energetic toddler and a crawling infant, there isn't a lot of time to rest and recuperate.

Meanwhile, Jimmy came out in spots. He had spots everywhere, from his trunk all the way down to his toes. I was a bit confused about whether it was hand, foot and mouth or whether it was chicken pox as he had symptoms of both. We hustled to the doctor (just an aside, but WHY do my children always get sick on days that I have to take both with me to the doctor?), who hesitantly called chicken pox. I know that there is no treatment for either HFM or the pox except time, but it was good to have a diagnosis anyway. I'm not sure where he caught it from, but I suspect daycare as Ellie's friends love to greet him at pickup/dropoff time with snotty kisses, and he's still too young to have had a chicken pox vaccination. Apparently it's quite unlucky these days for a baby to get chicken pox... go Jimmy, beating the odds!

He's been completely miserable, so we've been doing a lot of baby wearing. My days looked a lot like this...

... swaying and rocking him to sleep wrapped against my chest. Which, if I'm honest, has always been one of our happy places to be.

What I actually suspect now, is that Jimmy had HFM, which has been doing it's usual rounds at Ellie's daycare, and then while his immunity was low, he caught chicken pox, which is when I took him to the doctor. How do I know this? Because I got HFM. Thank you SO MUCH daycare and Jimmy. Sharing the love, sharing the love, right? HFM is usually a children's virus, but I know quite a few of my parent friends who have also caught it.

So I've been pretty miserable too, as we've both had to be in quarantine at home. Here's another picture of how we spent our days once I got sick too. Here, I'm a bit flushed from getting him up there, and he's still a bit glassy eyed, but we both feel better touching each other. 

HFM is a seriously revolting virus as an adult. I won't post a picture as that's just icky, but there are lots of mouth ulcers, making it hard to eat/talk/swallow because your tongue swells and everything hurts. Little pinprick sized blisters all over your hands and feet make it a bit painful to walk or even be immersed in water, so showering/bathing/doing the dishes is agony. Despite that, I'm told I got a mild dose.

I tell you, we all better be building some serious immunity here!!  I'm super grateful that, excepting Jimmy, we have all either had chicken pox or been vaccinated, so that didn't spread any further. Also, Ellie has had HFM and didn't show any signs of further virus contamination, so I've been able to send her to daycare for a 'break' while I cared for Jimmy and myself. Mr Fork remained disgustingly healthy.

Despite all that, we are all on the mend here. I look forward to being able to get out of the house, to typing on a keyboard, and to baking properly again... I've been afraid to bake bread or do anything with kneading or hand mixing while my hands were gross. Consequently, we've been eating a lot of peanut butter sandwiches around here, which I am getting a mite tired of...

I do have one more thing to share. Ellie drew me this picture to make me feel better. It's one of her first recognisable drawings. That giant head on the left is me. On the right, under all that hair, is her. She tells me we are holding hands. I won't lie, I maybe choked up and got a little teary when she handed it to me. It's worth getting sick and investing so much time and energy and love into my small people for moments like these.

Whew! That feels better. I feel all caught up now. Tell me, how has your week been?

5 ways the second baby is different from your first

I've got to be honest - Jimmy is a good baby. I hope I haven't jinxed myself saying that, but it's true. He's very zen and chilled out, and really, I'm just relaxed and enjoying him. Of course, he is snoozing in the ring sling against my chest as I type this, so it could be the sleep deprived mama hormones talking... but I think not.

Before he came, I worried and questioned.  Would love him as much as I loved Ellie? How would Ellie adjust to being a big sister? How would I cope with two? Is breastfeeding going to be as hard this time around?

Turns out all of that worry and fretting was unnecessary. Yes, the first days are hard, getting used to sleep deprivation and cluster feeding and adjusting the family dynamic. There are definite silver linings though, so here are my thoughts on ways the second child is different from the first.

1. You've done it all before, so you know what 'normal' feels like

Yes, I complained that doctors were treating me like I knew what I was doing during pregnancy and labour because I'd done it all of once before. In reality though, you know what you're doing. Or should I say, you know what normal is and you know when it's just not right.

I pushed for extra testing when I got itchy because I knew what cholestasis felt like the first time around. I argued not to be sent home from the labour ward because I knew I gave birth quickly and I didn't want to do it on the roadside. I did not feel guilty asking for extra assistance or help in hospital, and for making use of all the available resources and knowledge there.

I got help for feeding early because I knew it wasn't right despite being told by several health professionals that everything was fine.

I've done it before, so I know what does and doesn't feel right. I'm also not afraid to speak up and ask for help or second opinions.

2. You know that it won't hurt them to cry for 2 seconds while you dash to the toilet

With Ellie, every little cry she made, I was in there. Is she cold, is she wet, does she smell, should I feed her? She owned me, which is not a bad thing at all. However, when it came time to choose her over the toilet for example, I would pick her and rock in silent discomfort (wouldn't dare to wake the sleeping babe) while my bladder nearly burst. Now, I know that Jimmy will be just fine while I dash off quickly. After all, I'm sure he'd much rather have a happy and comfortable mama when we settle in for those marathon feeding sessions he's so fond of.

3. Excretion is funnier

I have never been peed on so much in my life. Or pooped on come to think of it. Little boys seem so much more explosive. Just taking the nappy off Jimmy appears to be code for 'yes please, even though you've clearly just weed, aim some more my way'. Mr Fork and I had both forgotten how much newborns poop, and we've both made the mistake of taking off the nappy before he's done... cue screams of anguish as we get covered in streams of warm excrement. I'll be honest, I laughed hysterically when it happened to Mr Fork the first time. Not so hilarious when it was my turn (but still funny).

Cue stripping down the change table, the baby and gingerly removing our own outfits over our head and bolting to the shower. Spit up just seems so passé and normal now... oh, you've vomited down my back? That's ok, at least it wasn't poop....

4. It's lovely to see your older child with the new baby

Ellie could not be a better big sister. There is so much love there, and it really does bring a tear to my eye when she interacts with her baby brother (damn postnatal hormones). We made sure to include her in the pregnancy as much as possible, she talked to her baby brother in utero, came to appointments with me, we read books and tried to prepare her as much as possible to be a big sister.

She has taken to it beautifully - when Jimmy cries she gets frantic and runs to check on him, screaming 'Baby James, sad!'. When I'm feeding she wants to sit close and touch his head, or lifts her shirt to feed her baby too. She is always asking to hold him on her lap and loves nothing more than to rub his back to help him burp. There is no jealousy, and I often have to stop her from 'sharing' (read, throwing) her toys at his head as he sleeps. What would be awesome though? If there was a little less love at (the frequent) bed times so Jimmy could actually sleep instead of being woken constantly by a loving big sister.

My fears that I might not love Jimmy as much as Ellie? Groundless. I loved him the second I held him, and I don't love Ellie any less. Although, now that I have a newborn, she appears to be a giant in comparison!

5. You appreciate night time snuggles more

With a second child, your attention is split during the day. I can't give James the individual attention that Ellie got as a newborn. Toddlers are demanding and attention seeking little people. No matter how tired I am and how zombie like I feel after being up all night feeding, I make sure to spend time with Ellie, snuggling, reading or baking while he sleeps. I pack up Jimmy into a sling or wrap and we take Ellie to the park or the library and make sure that she doesn't resent this new little human who makes such demands on mama and daddy's time.

So, night time is my time with Jimmy. It's when I can stroke his silky head, inhale that unique new born smell, feel his little hands clutching me, and just enjoy the feeling that I made this tiny human and he will call me mama. We just enjoy our time together, he and I, without anyone else demanding their share of my attention. Sure, I'd love more sleep. Sure, I'm like a zombie in the mornings, but they're only little for so long, and years later I won't remember the sleep I didn't get, but I will hold those new baby snuggles in my heart forever.

By the way, I struggled a bit with what to title this post. Fun? Better? Chilled? Finally I settled on different. I guess I just wanted to compare going from one to two children in a positive sort of way.

How was your second (or subsequent) baby different to the first?

Attila is here!!

Shortly after posting this photo on Instagram last week, complaining about how I was the most pregnant I had ever been and how uncomfortable I was, my waters broke. Maybe some of those bringing on labour methods worked?

A quick call to Mr Fork at work, some organising of care for Ellie and we were off to the hospital post haste (I tend to have short labours).

A few hours later, this scrumptious little man was born. Look what I made! Welcome Attila (now formally Jimmy)! Who knew that tummy was hiding a big 7lb 7oz baby? Not me... everything I'd packed for him to wear in hospital was too small. His sister was 5lb 12oz, so that's what I was going on. No wonder I was waddling around! Almost a whole kilogram of extra baby this time!!

Now excuse me. I have precious newborn cuddles to sneak in, a fresh baby head to sniff, endless feeding to do and much sleep to catch up on...

L is for Laughter

Laughter... I really do think it's the best medicine there is. The day that I first heard Ellie laugh was magical. It was just a little chuckle while we were playing, but I froze for a moment and when I looked at her, she was just all lit up with pure joy. I actually have an audio recording on my phone of one of her first laughs. It cracks me up even now. I was making kissing noises and kissing her toes and tummy and she lost the plot. She was laughing her baby laugh so hard that she was snorting at the same time. It's adorable!

 

As her mama, I love finding the things that make her laugh. Now, she chuckles with glee at lots of things.

• She loves tickles. Both being tickled, and "tickling" you. More often than not her tickles are actually pokes and pinches, but she is trying and so I laugh for her because I know the intention is there. We are also staying strong with teaching boundaries and are careful to stop or be stopped if the word is given.
• She loves texture. Blankets and jackets and soft teddy bears rubbed on her cheek are delightful.
• Great delight is also taken in blowing raspberries onto my belly and talking to her "brovver". 
• She is so active. She loves going to the park and swinging, using the slides and throwing herself around. She loves playing catch, dancing to something with a beat (Pharrell's 'Happy' is a constant winner). She will also come to you and ask to be swung around, flung upside down or carried for a piggy back ride. She loves hide and seek and peekaboo, especially when she thinks she is getting the better of you and you can't find or see her. All of these things produce gorgeous giggles (mostly minus the snorts these days).

 

I also think that laughter is healing and definitely helps break up some of the stress that parenting can bring. Especially in the early days of motherhood (oh how I try not to think of those too much, especially with Attila so close now), things just happen, and if you don't laugh at yourself, you might end up crying. Here are a couple of my pearlers:

• Wrangling new born Ellie and I into fresh clean outfits, then having her simultaneously throw up on me and create a poopsplosion that her nappy and outfit couldn't contain. Realising that the shirt I was wearing had to be removed over my head and was now covered with excretion from each end...
• Sleep deprived and home alone with Ellie after Mr Fork had exhausted his paternity leave. She wouldn't stop crying. After trying everything, I wrapped her against me and she finally slept, but all attempts to lay her down were futile. I ate lunch standing up, swaying from side to side with toast crumbs raining down on to her bald-ish little head, laughing like a loon. Mr Fork came home to find me still pacing manically around the house, Ellie sleeping quietly and innocently.
• Finally getting some much needed shuteye, only to hear Mr Fork scream with what I can only describe as horror, and yell for assistance. Dash into the nursery to see him (and half the room including the rug) coated with poop. Obviously Ellie was not done and when he'd lifted her to change the nappy over, she'd taken advantage of the angle and let loose. Oh the horror.

Then there's the things that Ellie does both intentionally and unintentionally that make us laugh, such as:

• The way she calls her dressing gown 'kitty' (it's a hello kitty one). And she can't quite pronounce kitty so it sounds a bit rude.
• When she does something naughty and realises I'm unhappy with her - she'll throw herself at me shouting "Sowwy! Cuddle!" then clasp me in a toddler death grip. It's all I can do not to smother her with kisses but instead accept her apology with dignity.

What has made you laugh lately?

Moving from the cot to a big girl room

With Attila scheduled to make an appearance in the next few months (eek!), Mr Fork and I felt that it was time to transition Ellie over to a big girl room. Everything we've read indicates that you should make it a fun process and let them be involved so that they feel excited. Recommendations are that you should also do it early enough so that the toddler doesn't feel like they are being 'kicked out' or 'replaced' by a new baby. Fair enough. I'm pretty sure going from one child to two is going to be hard enough without dealing with a resentful toddler on top of it too.

Our first step was to clear out the spare room, which was to become Ellie's room. I'm sad to be losing this space, as not only does it serve as the guest room, but it is also the receptacle of all the things that don't have a proper home in our house, as well as the place where I put all the laundry to be folded. It looks like I'm going to have to be a lot more clean and organised in future! Here are some before shots. As you can see, we had a queen size bed in the room and a bookshelf with lots of things in the room before. It looks really cramped but was decent enough and comfy for a spare room.

 

The bed has been dismantled to live in Mr Fork's man cave, and we are still looking for a home for the bookcase - Mr Fork thinks we should bite the bullets and become adults. By this he means we should purchase a filing cabinet and I should stop flinging random bits of paper where ever they fit and put them in a logical order somewhere. Hmm.

Anyway, after some initial debate, we decided on a king single size bed for Ellie. Our logic was, it will last her longer as we are sure she will be tall, and it is comfortable for either Mr Fork or I to lie in with her on the occasions she wants company (very often right now). We were conservative with the bed frame but bought the best mattress in our budget because well... a good mattress is gold right?

The bed was accessorised with the softest sheets from Kmart - Ellie picked them with a little encouragement from Mr Fork (he thinks girls should have lots of pink.... sigh). At $16, they were an absolute bargain, and they're soft, warm and made from a tshirt sort of material. She has a Sheraton quilt cover which I think is really cute (Mr Fork thinks it isn't girly enough), with stripes on one side and rocket ships and stars that glow in the dark on the other - how cool is that!! I think from the picture it's really obvious I'm not one of those people who iron sheets and covers... don't judge if that's your thing.

Pink sheet, and the two sides of her quilt cover

We've moved her bookshelf into her new room, as well as an old wooden TV cabinet which she can use to store her favourite toys in - Ellie loves to open and shut cupboards and hide things away. The big pillows which are against the wall usually live in our lounge room, but during naps and at night time they get laid on the ground to guard against falls from the bed (none so far thank goodness).

I'm still looking for the ideal rug to put in her room so it's a bit more comfy to play on the ground in there.

The artwork is a print from a children's book that her grandmother gave her when she was born. It sits in a frame and used to hang over her change table, but still looks really grown up in her room.

The print close up

I love her room so far. It's bright and cheerful and not too childish nor too adult. We haven't had the smoothest transition though. Although Ellie loves that she has a big girl bed to herself and she can stand at the windows and have a view out two directions, she hasn't been well lately (thank you daycare!), so that is contributing to the changeover. Most nights she'll go to sleep happily with a story, but several hours later will wake up disoriented. Sometimes we can get her back to sleep, sometimes nothing but moving into bed and snuggling up with mama and Attila (and daddy) will do.

What does your child's bedroom look like? Any must have gadgets or features? 

Breastfeeding, what I've learnt so far

* Disclaimer this post is sponsored by Medela.

I've written before about my breastfeeding experience with Ellie.

I won't lie. The first time around we stopped breastfeeding way earlier than I wanted to. I wanted to be that mama who fed easily. I thought it was something that came naturally, that you just instinctively knew what to do. For me, that wasn't the case. We had a toe curling, painful and rocky start. There were latch issues and apparent supply issues. There was sore nipples and mastitis bouts. There was conflicting advice from midwives, lactation consultants and my GP. Lots of tears (both hers and mine). What with pumping, feeding, and a delicious recipe for vegan lactation cookies, we managed to keep at it for nine months, during which time I also returned to work and she also started day care.

Also, I won't sugar coat it. Some of my nicest early memories are of breastfeeding. Of gazing into her eyes, of smelling that sweet baby smell, of tiny hands patting me as she feeds. The utter contentment of those late nights when she and I seemed to be all alone in the world. I missed that when we stopped. So much more than I thought I would. There were more tears (from me this time). After I stopped feeding, I still had a decent supply of milk frozen that we'd finished off by the time she turned one. In spite of how she was fed, and the angst I gave to the whole process, Ellie has thrived. I'm grateful for all the help and (good) advice I received and I want to state that I support feeding your baby however works best for you.

My hand looks really old here

Having said that, I intend to give breastfeeding a red hot go with Attila. This time around, I'm better informed, more practiced and know where to go if I need help.

Recently, I attended a morning tea with Medela. I used their products the first time around with Ellie (hello, marvellous shields and swing breast pump!) and we've got a few bottles as well. This morning tea was fabulous. We talked about what is normal is breastfeeding. Please, if you take anything from this post know that there is no normal! There is no 'correct' set of rules and know that the breastfeeding relationship will change as your baby grows and has different nutritional needs. What works one week might need to be changed the next. Babies can have variable breastfeeding sessions, durations and speed as they grow.

The best advice I can give based on my experiences?

• Go in with a positive attitude. Your baby can sense if you are stressed and that will stress them too.
• Drink plenty of water. You aren't just hydrating you, you're using that water to make milk. Trust me, you will get very thirsty. Go with it. Also, eat. Even if you are too tired, eat.
• A support network makes all the difference. Someone to encourage you when it hurts, cheer you on when it works and help out with answers to your many questions. You might have multiple support people, and that will help immensely. Don't be afraid to ask questions and find your own cheer squad.

Medela provides real solutions for breastfeeding mothers to get over any hurdles in the early days and to support their long term breastfeeding goals. Through its extensive range of breast pump products and other breastfeeding products, Medela is committed to promoting the benefits of breast milk and encouraging long term breastfeeding. For more information visit: www.medela.com.au  or say hello on www.facebook.com/medela.au

 

Easter exhaustion and the house of sick

Oh hello there! It's been awhile I know. A combination of a couple of long weekends in a row, followed by us becoming the house of sick on our return from the Easter long weekend away. I'll get to that.

Like last year at Easter, we got on a plane and went to visit Ellie's grandparents. It was a great holiday, so great, that we decided to repeat it again this year! It was a lovely trip, I mean, it's hard to wake up to this kind of view, but someone has to do it! Also, flying with a toddler is very different to flying with an infant (somewhat easier, and in other ways, so much harder too!). Moving on...

Easter views

There was lots of fun had. We visited relatives, ate a lot, took Ellie out on her first boat trip (she slept in my arms the entire way there and back!), swam in the pool, went to the beach and collected shells, and generally enjoyed ourselves not being at work. As usual, Ellie was spoiled mightily with chocolate and Easter goodies (including a certain pair of bunny pyjamas). Did I mention food? Well, it deserves a second mention because there was a lot of it. There might have been quite a bit of napping to be done as well... although I feel vain enough to need to point out that that is an iPhone cable under my head, not a massive grey hair streak.

Mr Fork being mysterious as usual

When we got back home, we were all a little off colour. I wrote it off to post holiday blues and put us all to bed. The next day however saw Mr Fork and Ellie packed off to the doctor post haste. Turns out, Ellie and Mr Fork both had tonsillitis. Mr Fork got glandular fever on top of that. The pharmacist was quite tickled to be making up matching daddy/daughter antibiotics. I only had a viral infection so no antibiotics for me. I say only with the utmost sarcasm, because I felt like death too, but as the least sick of the family, it was my job to do all the looking after. I've been so tired I could sleep for a week! Luckily, everyone is on the mend now, but my sanity and temper certainly suffered for awhile there.

It's either the terrible twos starting, or the fact that she's been sick, but Ellie has been off temper a bit too. After throwing an epic tantrum one day, her room suddenly went silent so I checked on her, only to find her asleep behind the door wrapped in her beloved blanket. I just had to take a picture of her it was that cute. She was so comfortable (even snoring) that I just let her sleep where she was instead of risking a mid nap move.

Floor naps

Speaking of that blanket, have I ever mentioned how much Ellie loves it? It's the texture she finds comfort in I think, as we have a similar smaller blanket for the car that has the same feel but a different colour. Being sick, she's been wanting blanket with her everywhere when we're home, and no matter how hot the day, if we're in the car, that one has to be draped over her legs too. I'm going somewhere with this.

I took her shopping during the week last week so that Mr Fork could have a break and get some rest. I was walking dead myself, but hopefully he'll remember what I did and return the favour one day. We were in Myer looking at the pyjamas when all of a sudden Ellie squealed with glee and disappeared into a rack of clothes. I found her in a rack of pink fluffy jackets, which looked and felt just like her blanket, rubbing them over her face. Then, I kid you not, she tore a jacket off it's hanger and started carrying it around the department, rubbing it on her face and sucking her thumb. There were tears when I refused to buy it for her but honestly... I just don't see myself wearing something like that EVER. I felt like the meanest mama in the world! Just look at those sad, sick eyes.

Sick, but still cute

How was your Easter break? I hope not as unhealthy as ours!

Transitioning to a big girl bed

Recently, we took the side off Ellie's cot, in preparation for moving her into a 'big girl bed' sometime down the track. We did it on a weekend, so she had time when we were home to get used to it. We laid pillows on the ground just in case she fell out, and made a fuss so she knew it was an important and fun milestone.

The cot, minus a side

It's worked out pretty well considering it was a random, spur of the moment decision. For maybe the first week, there were no falls out of the bed. Ellie would wake up around 2am and the only thing that would console her would be moving into bed with us for snuggles. Mr Fork would fall blissfully back asleep and I would have a toddler breathing into my neck and kicking me in the ribs until the alarm went off.

After that, we re-evaluated the change and helped her to manage it better:

• We reinstalled her nightlight in her room. Previously she would have one that switched off after 15 minutes, but the new setup gives her an additional light that stays on all night.
• Instead of closing her door all the way, we left it cracked a little so if she wants to, she can get herself out of bed and come to us.
• Instead of lifting her into bed at nap and sleep time, she was a big girl and encouraged to climb in and out by herself.

We've had two falls since then, as she gets more confident with the new boundaries, but she fell onto the pillows and no harm done. She also sleeps right through and loves that she can get up and bring a favourite toy into bed with her if she wants to. 

Her abacus is currently toy of the moment

On the down side, I've learnt to dread the little pitter patter of her feet as she slides out of bed and runs into our room. I hear a little voice say 'mama?' before a smelly security blanket is thrown on me and my determined toddler tries to hoist herself onto the bed for cuddles at an ungodly hour of the morning.

To be honest, though, I treasure those early morning cuddles.

How did you start to move your child to a bigger bed?

Lots of firsts

It's been a momentous couple of days lately!  Just before the long weekend was quite a day of firsts for Ellie.

She had her first babycino, and devoured the included marshmallow as well!

And she had her first haircut! I was scheduled for one so I took her along with me for a tidy up, Such a curious one, she was looking around at everything that was happening. Lucky my hairdresser is a patient lady; she just did things in Ellie's time when she was comfortable. Now, no more mullet! She looks like such a grown up little girl!

This week marks her first official week in the toddler room at daycare. My little bean is growing up!

Tell me about any recent 'firsts' for you!