Today, you turn one

Jimmy, today you are one. Well, technically, tonight you will be one, but we can celebrate now.

It's been a crazy year.

I can count on one hand the number of times you have slept through the night. And I mean that in the traditional "a sleep through for a baby is anything longer than 5 hours" logic. Since I also had chronic insomnia at the end of my pregnancy, do you know what that means little man? It means that I haven't had a decent night sleep in over a year. That's a long time sweetheart. Any time you want to sleep a little longer, I'm all for it. I'm sure your daddy can attest that I'm not my best (nor is he) without good sleep!

You still aren't walking, but you're really close. You will take the occasional independent step, but you don't trust your legs to fight against gravity yet. That's ok. There will be plenty of time to run later.

You love food. As in, you get a serious case of "hangry" if I don't get something edible in front of you pronto. And forget feeding you, you are all about doing it yourself. You have nearly brained the ever hopeful hounds multiple times throwing your bowl/spoon/fork/cup as they mill hopefully under your chair for the inevitable scraps. Your favourite foods at the moment are blueberries, edamame, watermelon, fruity sourdough, pasta, and stolen licks of frozen iceblocks. It's amazing really considering you still only have two teeth (and about 8 more all reallllly close to cutting through, Mr Grumpy!). Oh, and you love your milk. Lots of milk!

Your favourite place to be is with mama. As soon as I walk into a room, your eyes fix on me. If I'm not speedy coming to greet you, you wail and crawl on over to throw yourself at me. As though I had forgotten you or something (like I could!). You need to be constantly touched; you're a real limpet baby. It's ok, you're only this little for such a short while, I love the snuggles. Mostly. I'm a little over the fact that no matter how many soft silky things I offer, your favourite comfort item is my hair. No style is Jimmy-proof and my ends suffer for it. Lucky for baby wearing, otherwise your poor sister would never get any attention.

Speaking of hair, yours is so fine and light that there isn't enough volume or weight to hold it down so it just grows vertically. I love it, even if your one majestically long hair has now been absorbed into all the others. Your grandparents want to shave your head (as they wanted to do at your red egg celebration) to encourage it to grow back thicker and darker. We aren't talking a buzz cut here but really shave, down to the skull with a razor. I don't know how that would happen as you're so wriggly, but I have said we can have that discussion after your birthday, however, (not so secretly) I hope the idea falls by the wayside.

You aren't speaking much yet, but you understand a lot, I can tell. In fact, you respond to both Cantonese and English, and you're already more fluent than your mama you clever boy!

I had real problems thinking of what to get your for your first birthday. You don't want for things, and your sister is so good at sharing her toys with you. Your favourite thing to play with at the moment is an old birthday card of mine. It's one that plays sounds when opened (sheep noises) and you spend ages opening and shutting it and baaaa-ing right back at those sheep.

You're growing up to be such a lovely little human full of personality and fierce determination to get what you want. It's been a lovely (sleep deprived) year.

Love, mama 

Servicing the car

Yesterday I had to take the car in for it's scheduled service. Luckily for me, they're close by. Unluckily, they didn't have a way to transport me, Ellie and Jimmy home in the courtesy bus since we needed two car seats, nor did they have someone free who could drive us home in our car then take it back with them.

When I say close by, my Fitbit tells me it was 1.5km. Which isn't really that much... when you're an adult and can walk at your own pace. However, when you are also trying to get the toddler who walks at a snail's pace and the baby who doesn't walk yet home too, the task becomes somewhat more difficult. Cue babywearing for the win!

Both my children have hated the stroller and refused to sit placidly in it. They scream blue murder if I try to put them into it, so, I suppose that gives me a good excuse to buy all the wraps! I packed two to take with me, just in case I'd have to carry them both home. Luckily, I didn't though, as both of them together currently weigh about half of what I do! Ellie was happy enough to walk alongside me and, bless her, stop to look at and comment on every little thing of interest we passed on the way home. Here is a sample of all the "beautiful flowers mama!" (weeds) she asked me to photograph for her...

Jimmy was wrapped cozily onto me, and when he got tired of looking around and chewing my sunglasses, dozed off against me. Is there anything sweeter than a snoring baby and a walk in the sun with a toddler who thinks everything is amazing?

No.

Thank you, babywearing. By the way, for those interested, the wrap I'm wearing here is a Didymos Inka, 100% cotton. It's lovely and floppy now and the size 4 is perfect for me to do front carries and if I wrap precisely, a double hammock or ruck on my back.

On the flip side, how awesome would it be if services could be a little flexible and help out mothers a little instead of sticking rigidly to company guidelines!?

Do you babywear? What has it helped you get done lately?

Dear Jimmy: Today you are 9 months old

I don't usually do these sorts of posts, but this is my last week of maternity leave and I'm feeling a bit emotional about going back to work and leaving Jimmy with someone who isn't me.

Dear Jimmy,

Today you are nine months old. You have now been on the outside longer than you were on the inside (by four days!). This photo was taken a few hours before you were born. I was 38+3 days pregnant and complaining about how uncomfortable I was at the most pregnant I had ever been. I'd tried a lot to encourage you to arrive, but you had your own schedule in mind.

You are standing now, and trying to walk by pushing things around the house. Ellie walked the week before her first birthday - I predict you will do it sooner. You babble constantly, although you have yet to say any recognisable words.

You are sleeping better (by your standards) and you're pretty consistent with timings now: in bed by 7pm, awake for a nurse around 11pm and 2am. You wake up with a roar at 5am and refuse to go back to sleep even though 5am is cold and dark. As soon as daddy picks you up and puts you in bed with me, you crawl over and raspberry my face. It's extremely cute if I overlook the fact that I wake up covered in your slobber. You often try to eat my face. I tell myself this is you learning to kiss me.

Your big sister adores you, and I know you adore her too, because when she comes near you, your eyes follow her around the room. You are the perfect pair - she is my picky eating child, and you devour what she will not. She loves nothing better than to shower you with kisses (and yes, occasionally she sits on you, but you don't seem to mind that too much).

You have two teeth now; you still think you can eat anything and usually you do. Your favourite things to eat are pear, banana, broccoli, avocado and biscuits. You might well turn out to be my vegetarian child after all! Of course, you are still an absolute breastmilk monster, which completely thrills me after all our troubles to establish nursing. Since you refuse to take a bottle or a cup, I will be pumping at work and asking your carers to stir it into your food while I can't be there with you.

You are so smiley. You love anything that makes music. You can't stand to be too far away from me so I have become accustomed to cooking while you systematically pull everything out of the cupboard I have allocated to you. You are still happiest when you are touching me and I am happy to oblige by wearing you often. I don't know how I will cope while I am at work and no longer the absolute centre of your universe.

In the nine months you have been with me, I have forgotten that I am a separate person to you, just as you will soon have to learn that you are a separate person from me.

The past nine months have been some of the hardest, and most sleep deprived of my life. Although sometimes your daddy gets demonstrably cross when you won't go to sleep, we both love you anyway. Thank you for choosing me to be your mama.

All my love,
mama

Surviving life with a newborn

I'm not even going to sugarcoat it - life with a newborn is hard! There are emotional swings from low to high and back again. You run on little to no sleep. Better still, if you have other children, they don't understand that you're tired and they still want the same amount of attention. Same with the husband because he gets to sleep through while you're up breastfeeding so wakes up fresh as a daisy. It's exhausting, repetitive, and honestly, under appreciated by everyone except your baby. Luckily, I've pulled together a list of survival tips that help me get through!

1. Have a support network. Whether this is other mums, Facebook groups, a friend on speed dial, your partner... whoever. Have a network in place so you have somewhere to vent, chat, ask advice, and get some social interaction.

I tell you, having a friend who has also recently had a baby to chat to has saved my sanity! Even better if some of that support is online so you can scroll/read/chat while you're up overnight feeding and settling the baby.

Night time feeds and settling go faster with a phone in hand for selfies and support!

2. Prepare meals and snacks in advance. I'm not just talking about for outings here, but I'm talking about for the times when everyone is the house is bone-deep tired. Or when the spouse has gone back to work and there is no one to whip up something to eat while you're trapped under a hungry babe. You can rummage around in the fridge or freezer and unearth something relatively healthy and nutritious without having to resort to the takeaway pizza option again.

3. If people offer to help out, let them. Honestly. There is no shame in that - you have a newborn, you are allowed to have a messy house, accumulated laundry and an empty pantry. But if someone genuinely offers a hand, take it without guilt - and be specific, for example:

 "It would be great if you could bring me a loaf of bread and some milk on your way over. Oh ok, and a Malteaser Reindeer as well, thanks."

 "Would you mind holding and distracting the baby while I nap for 15 minutes."

 "Yes I'd love some of your delicious home made cookies since you're kindly offering."

 "You made me mushroom risotto? You shouldn't have! But I'm glad you did... now excuse me while I start eating it already..."

4. Distract the toddler. My toddler has the best of helpful intentions but sometimes things go awry. I don't want to keep her from her baby brother but she needs to learn to stop waking him, or trying to share her bottle of milk while I'm feeding him. Distraction is key here. I ask her to read me a story. To fetch something for me. Whether she would like me to scratch her back or give her a cuddle. To make me a (pretend) cup of tea. She is happy and attended to, I get a few minutes of respite. If all else fails, I send her and Mr Fork off on a daddy/daughter outing. This obviously does not suffice when he is back at work and I'm on my own though...

5. Connect with your partner. I totally get touched out on a daily basis. I have Jimmy on me all the time, and Ellie attached for a good part of each day and night too. I realise though, that poor Mr Fork needs attention also so I make a mammoth effort to snuggle with him, to chat about topics that aren't the children and to generally let him know that I appreciate all he does to help me. Even if he does get to peacefully snore while I'm up hourly with Jim each night... I acknowledge that he does bring me coffee and breakfast in bed, and he distracts Ellie so Jimmy sleeps peacefully while I get to eat it.

6. Take time for yourself. It's been hot in Brisbane lately. So hot. Jimmy is constantly snacking and cluster feeding, so there is definitely sweat, stale milk smell and a general feeling that I'm over having a babe attached at the end of each day. So when Mr Fork takes pity on me and pries James from my chest you better believe I bolt for the shower and lock the door before Ellie can follow. I leisurely wash my hair, scrub my face, shave my legs and because I'm a mum I scrub the shower too. It is seriously the best 5 touch free minutes of my life, and I emerge human, re-energised and enthusiastic once again, and ready to be reattached to the infant. Do something like that. Make a hot chocolate. Have tea. Go outside and walk around barefoot in the garden... just escape for a few minutes and take some me-time when the opportunity presents itself.

7. Babywear. Seriously. Sometimes, I just can't figure out what Jimmy wants. He is fed. His nappy is changed. He's been burped, he is not tired, but he just won't settle. Baby wearing to the rescue. He is just about 3 weeks old now and perfectly happy in both the ring sling and a wrap, as long as he is wrapped on mama.

Sakura bloom twilight ring sling gets the shopping done

I also think that it helps with his digestion (I mentioned his lip/tongue tie previously, well it makes him a little gassy and uncomfortable after a feed). In fact, in the interest of sharing, here's a picture of how I am writing this blog post, with Jimmy happily wrapped against me. He gets to snuggle, I get to move away from my room and get things done around the house. Win, win!

Didymos Inka in FWCC gets the blog post written

What are your tips for surviving life with a new born?

Slung, with love

I've talked about baby wearing before. I find it much easier when it's just me and Ellie to wear her, rather than getting the pram and pushing it around. It's comforting for me to be able to talk to her and drop little kisses onto her head when the mood strikes. I also think its nicer for her to see things from my perspective as well. I already have the Ergo and a wrap (or two), but I've been curious about ring slings and when one of the sites I stalk had a sale, I couldn't resist.

Although I can tie the wrap that I have into carries similar to a ring sling, it's quite a long wrap (size 5) and I find that I have meters of fabric that I have to wrap around me and tie into decorative styles to keep from stepping on it. I then have to untie them when I want to make adjustments, which can get annoying. I just love the colour of this wrap though and it's my go to for doing back carries (Mr Fork prefers the Ergo for everything).

Rocking a robbins hip carry on one of our walks

I bought a linen Sakura Bloom ring sling. It is unpadded, comes in one size and is lovely and thin, so it folds up small, but it's also very supportive and I have no hesitation in carrying Ellie in it (she is about 9kg now at 13 months old). It doesn't have any patterns in the Irish linen fabric but they do come in a choice of colours. After much deliberation I chose twilight, which is a dark blue and I think is quite versatile to pair with a lot of my wardrobe (so vain). The photo below has a lot of sun coming in - it's not so light in person. I even got a tea sample with my order (I love freebies!).

I'd done a bit of research into the fabric type I wanted and I figured linen was a good choice, despite the crease factor. As it comes from flax, it's a nice strong, natural fibre that wears well and is supportive, definitely something you want when you're carrying a child in it! It is also antibacterial and has great wicking properties, both of which are fabulous features which you have an infant who will spill things and maybe overflow a cloth nappy on occasion. The fabric is breathable and dries quickly, perfect for hot Brisbane weather and for when it needs to be washed. It is a sewn ring sling, which means that the rings are built in. I'm ok with that as I'm not one of those who need to change patterns or wraps all the time anyway and I don't want to be messing around setting up my sling with a new wrap constantly. The rings on the Sakura Bloom are made from aluminium so they're very light and since they're continuous, also very sturdy.

I know that many people have said that wrapping is uncomfortable, but honestly, that hasn't been my experience. With the wraps and ring sling essentially being long bolts of material, they are really adjustable and easy to make them sit just the way you like it. It's sort of like origami-ing your baby onto you. Ellie looks really pensive below, but she was just fed up after a long day out. The colour is a fairly accurate representation. Unpadded, I still find it very comfortable, even for long periods of time, and it's easy to get Ellie positioned nice and snug.

Too tired to look at the camera mummy

Long story short? I love my Sakura Bloom ring sling. It's portable, easy to carry around 'just in case', and very simple to use. Ellie loves it and I love having both hands free while I carry her and not have to mess with the longer wrap. Win all around. I've found that the more I use it, the softer it's gotten, and it wasn't even all that stiff to begin with so I'm really looking forward to having it fully broken into delicious softness. 

What's your favourite way to take bub out and about?

Wrapped, with love

I wrote awhile back about carrying Ellie in her Ergo carrier, and how I'd purchased a woven wrap so that I had a little more flexibility with the way I carried her around.

I'm not going to lie, Ellie is a clingy baby. She loves to be held and I love to hold her. When we're going for a quick trip somewhere, it's much easier for me to hold her than it is for me to get out the pram when I know she'll get bored and want to be held sometime anyway. An added benefit of carrying her is that she has a lot more interaction upright than she does lying down. There is research out there that babies who are carried (as opposed to pushed in prams) learn better, bond, feel more secure and develop better language and social skills as they are used to seeing the world at a 'big person' level.

So, let's get into details. I've already talked about the Ergo. The benefits of using a woven wrap are similar and many. Sure, a buckled carrier like an Ergo is super easy to throw on, but when I know I'll be carrying for a long period, I reach for my wrap.

Didymos Indio Porrinho (Brand, Weave, Colour/Pattern)

Wrapping Pros:

• As it's just a length of material, it's very snuggly for me and Ellie and there are no stress points for possible failure. Different wrap materials have different qualities - mine is a linen/cotton blend which makes it supportive yet still soft and plenty of grip 
• There is no one way to wrap; you can experiment with different carries until you find ones that suit both you and bub. The fabric wraps around wearer and baby so you get a custom fit, every time
• It's easy to alter the way the wrap sits, so there are no digging bits or any uncomfortable places as they're so mouldable
• Because they aren't sized, you can get a great fit with any baby, from a brand new squishy, to a toddler. I didn't start using the wrap until Ellie was a few months old, but if we have another baby, I won't hesitate to wrap from newborn
• The wraps themselves have a pretty good resale value. In fact, I think it's better to buy them second hand as someone has already put all the work into breaking them in and making them as squishy and soft as possible
• It's not solely a carrier, but can also be used as a hammock, a rug, a sunshade etc
• When you back carry, little baby breaths on the back of your neck are super adorable (baby snores are even cuter)

Wrapping Cons:

• Wraps come in different sizes. The most suitable will depend on the carries you want to do and the size of the wearer. Some people like to have multiple wraps for different purposes so it could become expensive
• Depending on the size of the wrap, the weave, and the carry, you may have a lot of material over and around you and bub. This can be hot in warmer climates and weather
• There is a bit of a learning curve with a woven wrap - you can't just buckle it on and be good to go
• It's a bit of a pain in the butt wrapping when out as the ends drag on the ground until I get it all wrapped. I also look a bit vain checking myself out in shop front glass, but I'm really just checking the wrap and position
• There are many different carries which you can try. This may take some time to learn, and you need to build up your confidence, especially when trying back carries. Many people recommend practicing over a soft surface and with someone to help spot when you are learning
• They're addictive - there are so many fabrics, weaves and colours out there that you may find your collection getting out of control!

So, how do you learn to wrap?  Well, there are many people who like to babywear, and the best way to learn would be if someone experienced with woven wraps can demonstrate in person.  If that's not possible, then as my friend, the 1337 mum says, YouTube is not just for cute kitties.  There is so much knowledge out there, and so many great videos demonstrating fabulous (and safe!) wrap techniques.

So the wrapping verdict? I love it! I love that I can go about my day and have Ellie close in a comfortable and practical way. I still have so much to learn and now that I've practiced more, I feel like I need a shorter wrap (mine is a 5 but the tails are so long I think I could comfortably go to a 4 and still do the carries I want).  Here's a photo of Ellie in a rucksack carry.  Just look at that cute little face peering out!

Rucksack, tied behind with super long tails

Do you baby wear?  What's your favourite way to bond with hub?