Vietnamese moments and reminiscing

Now that the recent holiday is fading into the distance, we've been talking about some of our favourite parts of it.

Mr Fork's aunty volunteers with a group of her friends to cook at a home for the blind on a regular basis. While we were there, we all went along too and helped out in the industrial kitchen. It was a bit of a social occasion with a good cause, and there was lots of chatter in amongst food preparation. While the picture below doesn't reflect scale well, that big paella looking pan in the background was well over a metre wide, and the 'smaller' pot at the front (with the vegetarian option) was half the diameter. There was a lot of food to prep and cook! It was also extremely tasty too. I want my children to grow up knowing that they are fortunate, and that not everyone has the same opportunities they do, and I think seeing how different countries live was an eye opener for them.

One of my children's favourite parts was when they got to feed koi fish with joyous abandon from the top of an (artificial) lily pad. For 60c, we were given a baby bottle full of fish food pellets and when lowered into the water, the koi came swarming. My little girl tells me with good authority that koi fish eating en masse sounds just like the sound of thumb sucking.

My friend's home had her very own breadfruit tree in the yard. The trees can get huge and have a high yield of fruit. I don't really see them much in Australia, but these things enchant me. Looks like they should be sweet and juicy like a mango. In actuality, they taste and cook more like a potato.

The same friend above gifted me a pair of shoes when I commented that hers looked fabulous. I often forget about the sheer generosity of people over there, and I have to be careful to keep gushing praise and comments about pretty things to myself because they are so giving. If I so much as looked at food from a street vendor for too long, I ended up with a serving of it in hand (believe me, when it comes to fresh fruit and sweet treats it's hard to say no!) so I didn't complain too much (although my waistline protested when I came home). Anyway, I recently had a belated mother's day event with some other school mothers on a Sunday afternoon and what better excuse to frock up and wear the most glorious red heels?!

Vietnam, you are just glorious. Full of wonderful food, fabulous people and so much to see and do.  I love the nightlife, the weather (my hair adores the humidity) and just quietly, I also love shoes and you deliver in spades (or heels?!). I love your crazy motorbike traffic, the availability of delicious fresh bahn mi and fruit with chilli, and the smells, sights and scenes we just don't get here. We will definitely be back!

It was a great holiday and a wonderful time spent introducing our children to part of their heritage and relatives we don't get to see every day.

Busy, not busy

Just recently as I was leaving the office on the last day of my work week, a colleague told me to enjoy my time off. It really ground my gears. What is this ‘time off’ thing they speak of?! 

It was on the tip of my tongue to start a rant about how I actually work full time (and then some!), I just get paid a part time wage, but then I bit off my words and swallowed them back. I know that my days off aren't spent loafing around idly. I'm pretty sure my husband and family appreciate all that I do when I'm at home too. I guess that's the important thing, not what the people at work think (so I won't rant here about gender stereotyping or making assumptions or accepted inequalities).

Instead, here’s some of what I did on that “day off”. I woke up and made everyone breakfast (naturally, no one wanted the same thing as anyone else). I made nutritious school lunches - no pre-packed food either, not that there is anything wrong with that, but everything was homemade (although to be honest, I did retrieve some baked goods from the freezer). I washed and hung out a load of laundry, before making sure bags were packed and doing the school drop off. 

After that, I came home, cut out some pants from old clothes which Mr Fork had worn through. I had time to pin them together and start sewing before the small man and I left to meet a friend who needed to talk. I entertained and distracted small man while there so I could chat, then came home to harvest and tend the vegetable garden. A friend was dropping by to pick up some kombucha scoby, so I brewed up a fresh batch for me and portioned some out for sharing. I also needed to write detailed instructions for booch brewing. 

After that, small man and I went and volunteered for an hour in preparation for my preppies upcoming school fete. After an hour, I got a message that our afternoon guests were running early and they'd be over shortly, so we came home to make lunch for said unexpectedly early guests that I wasn't expecting to feed.  Hurrah for always having homemade bread because paired with lots of odds and ends, it made for delicious sandwiches that hit the spot for everyone. The kitchen was tidied, and then I entertained small man for awhile since he refused to nap. We then returned back to continue the school fete preparations for a few more hours and stayed there until it was time to pick up the school child. 

We came home and I made afternoon tea. Folded the freshly washed laundry and started the dinner preparation. Oh, and I also finished whipping up those pants for everyone (I'll note here that both kids got a new pair of pants, and Mr Fork had his favourite jeans extensively mended and patched, so everyone except me got clothing out of it).

At this point, it was nearly time for Mr Fork to come home, so I stopped specifically noting my activities, but that certainly wasn't the end of my day. There was the usual night routines of dinner, cleaning, bathtime, reading etc etc.

Days off are so exhausting!

Here's a bonus picture of a focaccia I made on the weekend for a dinner party. While weekends are still busy (and also technically "days off") I'm particularly happy with how this bread turned out. I made two loaves, this one (grated haloumi, sun-dried tomato and oregano) and one plain - and therefore less photogenic! They were mixed in between swimming lessons, grocery shopping, errand running, a birthday party and various other tasks. The colder weather threw off my schedule so they also required some babying along with their own personal wheat packs to get some rise happening. Regardless, it was a delicious pre-dinner snack to share with friends. I've said it before and I'll say it again... I'm so grateful for the ability to make fresh bread and how with a little planning, I can easily fit the mixing and baking of it into my busy (not busy!) days.

Modern life is so busy, but things like fresh bread and good coffee are small treats that I always make time for. Do you have tips to share for coping with everything that needs doing?

I did a snack exchange thing...

Recently I took part in a snack exchange through a site I participate in regularly. Basically, you respond to someone's post asking for an exchange partner, agree on a dollar amount of food that you are willing to trade (excluding postage) and then exchange boxes of local food. Sure, it might be cheaper to buy the exchange items off Amazon or whatever, but it wouldn't be nearly as much fun or mystery.

My exchange partner was from Texas, told me that her birthday was coming up and she wanted foreign snacks to enjoy. She had no preferences or dietary restrictions, but liked gummy things, chocolates and hadn't tried anything from Australia so was happy for me to choose a selection (she wasn't enthusiastic about Vegemite or I'd have popped a small pack in too). We agreed on a budget of $15USD for snacks, which worked out to be just under $19AUD. I think I got a pretty good representation of Australian snacks!

I always like seeing both side of an exchange, so here's what I sent:

• French Fries
• Chicos
• Allens Party Mix
• Twisties - both cheese and chicken variety
• TimTam - gelato messina choc mint and cherry coconut varieties
• BBQ shapes
• Pods - snickers variety (because Americans are all about the horrible Tide Pod challenge at the moment and I thought it would be funny to send actual edible ones)
• Chicken salt - surprisingly, this is a uniquely Australian seasoning and even more surprisingly is ninja vegan! Who knew
• Not pictured - half a container of a Favourites selection that I used to fill the gaps - Cadbury mini cherry ripes, moro, boost, dairy milk, crunchie, turkish delight, flake and dream bar

I wrote a note explaining each item, explained the TimTam Slam and why she should try it and told her I'd love to know what was her favourite item once she got through them all (Pods are the winner at the moment but she hasn't tried everything yet).

Here's what I got back in my box. I hadn't provided any dietary restrictions because I figured if I wouldn't eat something, Mr Fork or the smalls would. The only thing I said was that I would prefer not to get any American chocolate (I think it's not very nice) and when asked I said I was happy to have spicy snacks! Every single thing she sent was totally new to me and if I'm honest, I don't even know what half of it is!

Lots of it is spicy and some of it I think are Spanish or Mexican sweets so the ingredients lists aren't in English at all.

   

The bright lollipops on the right are watermelon flavoured and then coated with spicy coating (I think they're amazingly delicious). The colourful chain of lollies underneath are spicy tamarind coated things which are delightfully spicy and sour at the same time.

Interestingly, the twizzlers (root beer and cherry flavoured) are both ninja vegan and SO GOOD! I haven't had a gummy sweet in a long time and these were good (I wasn't sure initially but I quite like the root beer flavour). The Laffy Taffy (watermelon and guava flavour) is also a ninja vegan product and I found it a chewy, fluffy sort of starburst type thing. It was good.

My smalls liked the milky (real milk!) lollypops, and there were also some soft caramels which Mr Fork tells me were amazing (but very milky... he thinks maybe goat milk). Mr Fork also claimed the spicy Fiesta mix and warhead worms as soon as he saw them. 

It was a super fun thing to do - I had fun picking snacks and then the anticipation of trying something surprising and new-to-me was half of the excitement, and then it was like opening a box to get a glimpse of someone else's favourite snack culture.

I'd definitely do it again in the future, and Mr Fork is already putting in requests for exchange locations to keep an eye out for. I certainly have some places in mind I'd like to try snacks from... I've even seen some posts pop up where people are looking for vegan or healthy snack exchange partners too which seems fun.

So I'm interested to know, if you could choose a location to exchange snacks with, where would you pick? And what would you send in an exchange that was representative of your location or your favourites?

Oh... hi there!

Well would you look at that… it feels like forever since I’ve updated this blog. In fact… oh my, eight months or so (thank you domain registration reminder for giving me some incentive). I haven’t been completely absent, I’ve been reading other blogs and infrequently commenting, but I still remember when I wrote more regularly, so sorry about that readers! (Do I have any readers left?)

What’s been happening in my life of late?

Work
I’ve been working more hours and taking on more responsibilities. I mean, I’m technically still part time, so I’m accruing flex time at alarming rates, but I love my job and we are doing so many new and experimental things and I just want to be involved. I’m loving that I get to stretch mental muscles and have deeply intellectual conversations about concepts that don’t even exist properly yet because we haven’t built them. It give me nerdy chills! Of course, it also means I have less time to do other things, but I make time for the important stuff.

My 5 year old with attitude
Ellie starts Prep next year. It feels like just moments ago I held her for the first time in my arms, barely 2.5kg of weight. Now, she still looks tiny, dwarfed by her school uniforms which I bought big so she could grow into them (it’s the frugal Asian side of me). The one thing that isn’t tiny is her attitude and sass. She’s such a wonderful little person who can have conversations with me and looks after her little brother with equal amounts of love and exasperation. She’s so smart, and so confident and so full of pizazz and cheer. I know she's going to blow us all away one day.

My newly minted 3 year old
Jimmy turned three yesterday! Remember when he was born? I do! We had some drama with his daycare and I wasn't happy with them anymore, so I went through the (long, drawn out) process of moving him a few months ago and he seems to be settling in and thriving now. He is talking so much and becoming his own person. And just for the record in case I start getting mushy and thinking about wanting more children…. toilet training. Oh my word I hate it so much… and that says a lot because remember I’m the mama who did cloth nappies!

He loves to be carried and held close, so I still carry a wrap for those moments where he just needs to be up. One such moment happened at a shopping centre lately... he was just losing composure so a sloppy wrap job later and he was snoring onto the back of my neck. J weighs almost a third of what I do these days, so I cherish these little moments while I still can.

Extracurricular activities
Ellie started acrobatics this year and while I was signing her up I noticed an adult tap dance class. I’ve never tapped before but I’ve done dance of some sort most of my life so I was intrigued. I started with a bunch of other like minded adults and I love it. Admittedly, it’s a new style for me so I’m still messing up all the time, but it’s such fun! I go once a week and quite frankly… it’s an amazing stress buster and I get to kick the floor and take all my frustrations out on it while dancing my (unfit) heart out. Win!

I'm also continuing pottering in my kitchen garden, and the recent rains have done wonderful things for all the plants I must say! 

After work, and family and cooking and life in general, I find myself sitting down of a night and just wanting a quiet activity. I've been reading a lot lately, both Kindle and paper books as the mood strikes. There is something to be said for turning paper pages and smelling a book (is that weird?) but I also appreciate the sheer convenience of eReaders too.

Diet
As my kids get older, they get more definite with what they will and won’t eat. They have a few meals they always love (pasta, rice and stir fry, chicken nuggets, pancakes and sweets) but I long for them to love vegetables and be flexible with their food preferences. It seems that what was a favourite last week is off the menu the next. Maybe they are following in their daddy's carnivorous influence and not my healthy choices.

I find myself often cooking wonderful (meat free) meals that they’ll taste and then turn up their noses at even though they'd eaten them last week, so I portion it out and freeze it to try again another time. I have a freezer full of meals that only I seem to eat now… no matter how many time I present my lovingly prepared and often home grown creations. Kids! Still, it means that I have fabulous lunch options and no excuse for takeaway on nights when I just can’t be bothered! I'm all about the silver linings.

Fill me in on your news. What’s been happening in your life lately?

On roles and responsibilities

Earlier this week, I had a flat tyre. I first noticed it when I was dropping Ellie and Jimmy at daycare. I was in a rush as I had a meeting to get to, so I didn't have time to fix it right then. My short term plan of attack was to drive it slowly to the nearest bus way, park so I could get to work and then let the problem belong to after-work Lisa. My longer plan solution was that I would call my roadside assist centre and have them help me change the tyre after work.

After leaving work, I decided that roadside assist would take far too long to arrive during peak hour, and so I called Mr Fork to come and help me change the tyre on the side of the road as I didn't feel safe driving to a service station to inflate it and getting it home to change it.

Anyway, while Mr Fork was changing the tyre by the side of the road, and I was entertaining the kids who were in the back seat of his car, a man walked by. I should preface this story by also mentioning that this man did not offer to help at all. Instead, he took in the situation, and then said, and I quote "you need to give him something nice to say thank you ". I looked at this man, walking his dog with nary an offer of assistance, and in my sweetest tones, I responded "what, more than the knowledge that his wife will arrive home safely?" That should have been it, but he clearly wanted to get his point across and waggled his eyebrows at me saying "yes, he deserves something nice  for helping you out". I was sweaty, hot, and rather short tempered from waiting on the roadside and having attempted to lift a spare tyre while wearing a pencil skirt and unsuitable blouse and heels. I glared at his back.

But it got me thinking. Is this a normal point of view in society?

I had a work conference recently where I had to be away from home for several nights. Mr Fork's mother had gladly offered to take both children on their non-childcare days, and happily cooked dinner for both them and Mr Fork while I was away. She even offered to have the kids overnight if he needed help. When he goes away for work, they just ask me how long he'll be away and mention they'll see us all when he gets back. I am just expected to cope. And I do. As did he while I was away (I'm also proud to report that he didn't take up the overnight babysitting offer).

He is a father, not a babysitter. Just as he is my husband, not a mechanic. He does things for our family, and for me, for the love of it, and because that is his role. Just as I do the same things. However, somehow when he does these things, it's seen as something extraordinary. When I do them, well, I'm just doing my job.

Does this happen to anyone else?

This and that

Trying to encourage Ellie to stop sucking her thumbs by making them pretty...

Thought I'd test out making my own thumbs pretty too...

I bought a pair of sparkly purple sneakers. They were half price, I'm guessing because not too many other adults want sparkly purple shoes. Or they don't have kid sized feet. My benefit!

Ellie and I got our hair cut, and she insisted on having a picture taken and sent to daddy from the salon (by the by, thank goodness my hairdresser is understanding about my two children causing havoc while she does my hair!)

We had my work Christmas party. There was a face painter there. Serious debate was had about whether a dragon or a butterfly would do. My suggestion to have both was poo-poohed, and the rainbow butterfly option proved a winner. Another selfie, this one she insisted be sent to Grandma...

Jimmy is really enjoying his new found ability to walk. This stage, where they are still learning to balance so stumble around like little monkeys? I love it so much.

I took myself on a date to see Les Miserable. It was a last minute ticket purchase and this is where I got to sit. Third row back. I was so close I could see the orchestra pit and the spit whenever the actors were especially passionate or enthusiastic. A really great production and one of my favourite musicals.

Happy Monday to you all x

Loving right now...

Netflix

I don't know why it took me so long to get on board with this, but I wish I'd done it sooner (especially in those early days when Jimmy was feeding 2-hourly-around-the-clock and wasn't so mobile!)

Orange Is the New Black
Related to my first item; I decided to pop my Netflix cherry with OITNB, and it's pretty good. I probably should have paid attention when everyone was recommending it to me when it came out years ago, but on the plus side, I now have three seasons to binge my way through. Yay.

Almonds
Odd inclusion I know. However, they're my snack of choice at the moment and I've always got a little container of them hidden away in my bag for when I get peckish. I go through food phases and I'm definitely loving almonds right now.

Fresh eggs
I don't eat them mind you, but there is something marvellous about collecting an egg that is still warm from being laid. I had thought the chickens had gone off the lay recently, but I was mistaken... when I was cleaning up the side garden, I found a secret nest and a hidden stash of eggs. Those hens had been holding out on us!!

Free things

I love it when something is unexpectedly free or cheaper than expected. This week I got a free bus ride because the machines weren't working, and yesterday at my local coffee shop I chose the correct colour playing card during happy hour and scored myself a free soy hot chocolate, which was exactly what I needed to get me through the afternoon. Winning!!

And just as a bonus... I'm totally not loving Apple iPhone earbuds. Despite having had my current iPhone for ages, I recently unpacked the earphones that came with it so that I could take advantage of the included microphone and volume control. The iPhone is so stylish and well designed, would it really have killed them to put a bit more effort into the earbuds? They are too big for my small person ears, and after a short phone conversation or a few songs, my ears are sore. Poor form Apple, poor form.

What are you loving on right now? Any recommendations for shows I should add to my Netflix queue?

How to see emergency contacts when your iPhone is locked

I may or may not have mentioned that in my work life, I work with technology. So learning new features about gadgets is exciting for me. Yes, I may be more than a little geeky. Anyway, I was so impressed to discover this characteristic on my iPhone, I wanted to share.

There has long been advice floating around about storing an 'ICE' contact in your mobile phone. ICE stands for 'In Case of Emergency'. I just appended it to the appropriate name, so mine says 'ICE – Mr Fork'. The reason being, if anything were to happen to me, a casual passer by supposedly could look up my phone to find my emergency contact.

Is anyone else seeing the problem here?

My phone requires a passcode to be unlocked to even reach the contacts. I imagine most people these days lock their phone. So how on earth is a random person going to be able to get to my contacts if I need help?

Fail.

With iOS 8, Apple released a Health application. Playing around with my phone recently, I discovered that there is also a 'Medical ID' section available digitally, and, this is the most important part. There is an option available to "Show When Locked", meaning that the Medical ID information can be viewed by swiping the lock screen, tapping "Emergency", then "Medical ID" then viewing the information. And yes, you can choose what you want to show. I've made up a little graphic to show how to get there:

Here's how to set it up:

1. Open the Health application on your iPhone
2. Click on the Medical ID icon in the lower right corner
3. Click Edit in the top right and set up the information you want available. Make sure you select the option to 'Show When Locked' under Emergency Access

4. Click Done

And that's it. It's a bit convoluted to get to the information, but now at least you can rest easy knowing that if something happens, there is a possibility that someone who is a bit of a geek and knows to look in this completely non intuitive spot, MAY JUST find your emergency contact information.

You're welcome.

Anyone have any other little known phone tips to share?

Candle, candle burning bright

I adore candles, and have them strategically placed around our home - in the kitchen, in the bathroom, and even in the bedroom. Not only do they look lovely, but if you get the scented ones, they smell amazing.

Have you ever noticed that memories can be tied very strongly to a sense of smell? For example, whenever I smell the ocean, I'm immediately taken back to my childhood when the beach was a short walk away and I practically had a mermaid tail I was in the water so often! The smell of fire reminds me of camping and huddling around the fire after dark eating sugary treats and hot chocolates. When I was studying, I made it a point to wear the same scent to exams that I used when I was revising content, hoping to trigger an association so that I would remember things!

So, I think it's pretty clear that I love yummy scents. I have candles burning in the kitchen when I'm home during the day to make the house smell delicious. If I need to unwind and have a bath (on the rare occasions I can use the bathroom on my own) I love to turn off the lights and just use candles. And while technically not a candle, I have an oil burner in the bedroom where I use essential oils depending on my mood - usually it's just a lavender to relax and help me sleep, but peppermint helps when I have a headache or need a little energy boost.

Also, look, let's be frank here, kids and dogs smell. Especially coming into winter when they refuse to go outside to play much and the house just starts to smell more, how shall I put it... lived in. That's when scented candles definitely come in super handy!!

One of the frequent candle varieties in my home at the moment is Airwick. It's available where I do my grocery shopping, which, for this time poor mama, is a big plus. They've really got some nice scents such as French Vanilla, and Mandarin Glow, and funky decorative candles that are made with natural essential oils. A favourite at the moment are the silhouette ones that change colour as they burn - fancy!

Airwick also have reed diffusers, automatic sprays and car diffusers available, so you can make sure that you have lovely scents around all the time.

Do you burn candles? What's the smell associated with your favourite memory?

Disclaimer: I received samples of Airwick products to use. All opinions are my own.

I want choice, not obligation

So it's February, already, and there seems to be a common theme out there in the real world right now. Everyone is talking about their existence in relation to whether they have someone, don't have someone, want someone and so on. It's coming up to that time of year again isn't it? You know what I'm talking about... THAT day.

Valentine's Day. Oh yes, that day is well on the way. Pink and red abounds... in all the stores. In heart form, in bear form, in cards and streamers and balloon form. Pink is cute. Red is cute. Pink and red together is just a little sickening and makes me feel a bit like I've eaten a whole coconut loaf on my own.

Mr Fork and I don't really celebrate Valentine's Day. I get cross at him for spending exorbitant sums on flowers that have been marked up for the occasion. Don't get me wrong... Girls like flowers.  I like flowers. Oriental lilies are my favourite. The pink ones especially. They are not that expensive. Except on Valentine's Day, when you have to practically sell off a kidney to buy them. So I'd rather get flowers on a day where he doesn't feel obliged to buy them for me but instead gets me flowers because he wants to.  Besides, there is something about the weirdly perfect flowers sold on special occasions that is odd. Give me the perfectly imperfect version anytime!

With that in mind, Valentine's Day is still a day to celebrate love, whether that's with a partner, children, fur children, best friends, or even yourself. So I've put together a list of suggestions for celebrations that don't have to cost a fortune:

• Go on a picnic. Pack a nice spread, load everything in the car and eat outdoors for a change. It might be just me, but I think food tastes nicer outside!
• Bake cookies or other sweet treats. You don't have to eat them all yourself, you could share them around with coworkers and friends... but who doesn't love a little sugary indulgence every now and then?
• Take a bath (or a shower if that's your thing). Pamper yourself - wash your hair, exfoliate, cleanse and use all those nice bath products you've been saving for a special occasion.
• Sit down. That's right. Put your feet up. Do absolutely nothing. Sometimes, it's nice to do nothing alone, but you can be companionable and do nothing with other people too.
• Have a conversation. A real in depth conversation about an interesting topic. Remove all electronic stimulation. No TV, no phones, no computer or iPads. 
• Go for a walk. Go outdoors, enjoy the scenery. Take the family, take the hounds and go walking. If you're really lucky you might meander back via a local cafe and grab a coffee and a sweet treat along the way!

How do you celebrate love? Got any Valentine's Day plans?

Child rearing advice NOT to follow

I know that people mean well, but it seems that having children paints some kind of sign over your head that encourages people to distribute their child raising advice whether you want it or not. Lately I've been thinking about some of the advice that people have 'gifted' me with, and some of it just makes me mad.

Here are just a few of the pearlers I've been given.

Sleep while the baby sleeps. 

As my good friend says, sure, shall I also clean while the baby cleans, wash up while the baby washes up and do the endless laundry while the baby does? Yes, there is definite sleep deprivation and more sleep would be great... but really, it's not always practical.

Having said that... here's a picture of Jimmy and I snoozing together... on a 35 degree day, so honestly it was more like sweaty snuggles but I'll take it.

You'll spoil the baby

Actually no, you can't spoil a baby. It's a baby for crying out loud. So if I respond to my child when he cries, that's not spoiling him. If he gives hunger signs even though he only ate half an hour ago, feeding him again isn't going to ruin him. If he falls asleep in my arms, I don't need to put him down. There will be plenty of time when he's happy to sleep on his own... but while I can, I'll enjoy those snuggles at mutually convenient times.

It's called meeting your child's needs. It's setting him up to know that he can count on you when he needs you.

Let him cry himself to sleep

Really? This is a little baby. He was rocked to sleep with the sound of my movements, voice and heartbeat for nine months. He's not suddenly going to be able to sleep on his own. If he needs a little help to sleep - patting, rocking, boobing... I'll give it to him. They're only little for a short time... let them be little and just go with it. What could I be doing that is more important that comforting my baby? Besides, each to their own, but I've always believed that a crying baby doesn't just learn to stop crying. They stop crying because they no longer expect you to come to them. I want my babies to know I will always be there for them.

He's just doing it to get to you

New babies don't know how to manipulate yet. If he cries, it's not to annoy me. He didn't just poop three times in a row purely to have me change nappy after nappy on purpose. If he needs nurturing, he needs it. I'm his mama. He needs me.

You brought this on yourself

Oh? The having a baby thing? I'll pay that. The having to rock him to sleep because if I lay him down he will either a) vomit or b) wake up? Well sure, I'll pay that too, but none of that stuff is forever. Seems that when ever I raise my children in a way that someone doesn't agree with, it's a bad habit that I "brought on myself". When I had Ellie, I went to a mother's group that was run by a community health nurse. She said something that has stuck with me.... she said, it's only a bad habit if you're tired of dealing with it. So, if for example, I'm ok rocking Jimmy to sleep, that's what works for us. When I can't do that anymore, then we will gently transition to a new sleep habit that works for both of us, together. What did I bring on myself? Oh, just the desire to be the best mama I can be.

Share with me. What is some of the worst (well meaning) advice you've been given?

Pregnancy glamour on the home stretch

As of this week, I am the most pregnant I have ever been before. Ellie came smack bang on 37 weeks, and everyone told me that second babies come earlier and faster. I have to be honest and say that secretly I was counting on that, because right now, I feel giant and ungainly but most of all tired and impatient. Come on Attila, mama wants to meet you already!!

Since I've never made it this far before, I have more thoughts about the glamour of pregnancy along this home stretch that never occurred to me last time (read more about pregnancy glamour here and here).

• The pregnancy insomnia! Oh the insomnia. Was it this terrible before? I honestly can't remember but I know that I'm waking up several times a night and finding it very hard to get back to sleep. The gentle snores from Mr Fork just enrage me further - why does he sleep so peacefully when it eludes me?
• It's not just the insomnia waking me up, but I swear, I am up every two hours or so to empty my ever shrinking bladder. It wouldn't be so bad if it was worth it, but waking up to squeeze out a drop or two is so not fun
• While on the topic of sleep, it's mighty uncomfortable. I can't seem to get the optimal arrangement of pillows that support my back, my hips, the belly and my neck. It probably doesn't help that I'm limited to only sleeping on my side I suppose
• Rolling over! It's at least a three point job. And then I have to rearrange the pillows. With my awesome timing too, by the time I get everything just right, I need to get up to wee again. Oh the humanity!
• As I mentioned, Ellie came earlier. She also was born in September, so my limited maternity wardrobe isn't really geared for a bigger belly and October/November (please not November!!) weather. Luckily I'm on maternity leave now, so I'm making do with loose drape-y sort of things... and maybe some things that shouldn't be seen in public 
• Looking after a toddler is extra exhausting now. Which is why by all rights I should sleep so soundly and it irks me that I can't. I sort of live for daycare days at the moment, which makes me feel terrible but does allow me the freedom to potter around the house nesting
• Nesting is harder this time too. No sooner do I get a room clean and sparkly, then Mr Fork or Ellie come along and destroy the shiny. Soooo frustrating!
• I feel so waddle-y and uncomfortable that I can't really go out and do things to take advantage of this baby free time. It seems whiney I know, but I could do with a haircut, and a pedicure and even just a good long massage (alright, that one I did do, but only because they have a pregnancy table and I can lie on my belly for awhile). Going out just seems so... much... effort...

I'm just impatient. In my heart, I'd hoped I'd have met Attila by now. I know he's not overdue by any stretch, but I'm on leave and I feel like I'm wasting it by not having a baby yet, especially when I'd mentally prepared for an early arrival. There is no way I could be at work either though because I'm so tired, but I'm just in limbo at the moment, floating around at home and nesting. There is only so many things to clean, books to read and sleep to be had really.

Ok not the sleep part. That I'd love some more of please!

So come out Attila! Your mama and your daddy and your big sister can't wait to meet you!! Ellie lays on my belly each night and talks to you. She pokes at my 'baby button' (belly button) and blows you raspberries. Daddy talks to you all the time and doesn't know whether to go to work or stay and hover around me. You must already know how eager I am to meet you. Everyone is waiting for you... hurry up baby!

Love, mama

Does anyone have any tips to bring on labour? Or make these last days go just a little bit faster? I'd love to hear them!

Things I'm looking forward to post pregnancy

Inspired by a Facebook post recently, I decided to compile a list of things that I'm really looking forward to post pregnancy. At first, getting pregnant is awesome! You're still small enough to be comfortable, it's exciting and you're all glowing and happy. Then later, as things progress, you gradually get more uncomfortable and resentful of what you can't have. Probably, even if I could have everything on my list, I wouldn't, but it's the sheer fact that I just can't that makes me want them more.

What kicked off the whole thought process? Well, I had to go to the physio, and they have a special pillow that lets you lie on your stomach. It was LOVELY. I imagine in fact, that I looked something like this:

 

Source

So, in no particular order, other things I am looking forward to post birth:

• Lying in a position other than on my side. I may starfish and wallow around on my back immediately after delivery I am looking forward to it that much (another seal picture of that below, it is that cute)
• A sneaky glass of wine
• Walking without waddling
• Rolling over in bed without it needing to be (at least) a three point maneuver
• Tiny person snuggles
• Soft cheeses! 
• Decent time periods without needing to wee
• New baby smell
• Sushi
• Having a choice in clothing again (my pregnancy wardrobe is small)
• Being able to wear heels if I want to
• Painting my own toes
• Eating a decent sized meal without indigestion

Source

I'd like to say sleep but I figure that's not something I'll get any more of...

Have I missed anything important here?

Shan't, Won't, Cant

I can't...Wear fringes (I just don't have enough hair and it gets too greasy). Sleep when someone else is snoring. Sleep in (yeah, it sucks when someone has been snoring all night). Refrain from putting in my 2c.

I can...
Ride a motorcycle. Write my name in Chinese. Check my email and Facebook way more than they need to be checked. Make a mean apple crumble. Sew and mend basic items. Grow my own food.

I won't
Take crap from people anymore. Watch a favourite musical without singing. Apologise for previously mentioned singing. Be embarrassed for having a small crush on Edward Cullen. Let being tired stop me from having family time.

Just look at those eye bags!

I will...
Let myself be heard when I think it's important enough. Spend too much money on shoes. Cry when I'm frustrated, angry, emotional, sleep deprived and sometimes even when I don't get my own way. Squeak like a mouse on my own behalf but you better believe I'm a tiger when it comes to my family!

I shouldn't...
Feel guilty for eating so much pizza. Eat so much junk food. Look back on lost opportunities as much as I do. Shop online. Send emails without stopping to think first.

I should...
Make more time for me. Like myself naked. Write more. Better control my temper and tongue. Learn to make my own refried beans. Make more of an effort with family sometimes.

What are some of your can/will/shoulds?