Thursday 8 May 2014

Little things

I went to work grumpy this morning. At 1:00am, Ellie woke screaming from a dream and I couldn't calm her, so I brought her into bed with us, where she immediately settled. She cuddled herself up against me, tucked her little head under my chin and proceeded to babble quietly to me in her little Ellie voice. It was adorable. But, it was also 1:00am so I told her that it wasn't time to talk it was time to sleep and followed my own advice. 

She didn't though. She laid with her warm little head against me happily, patting me with her little baby hands and chatting quietly and then, when she didn't get any meaningful response, moved on to kicking me not so gently. It was now past 3am and I was tired and had had enough so moved her (reluctantly) back to her own room.

Except, now, I was very awake anyway, so I ended up laying in bed unable to get back to sleep and got up at my usual time with heavy limbs and eyes that felt like I'd rubbed sand into them. I could have kept her in bed and enjoyed having quiet time and snuggles together, but instead I chose otherwise.

There's a line in a popular song that goes like this:

"I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth, but if it's true, it's you, it's you they add up to - I'm in love with you"

Oh alright, it's a One Direction song, let's admit that and get it over with. There's a point to this.

She won't always want to lie in bed with me. She won't always want to cuddle and talk to me with reckless abandon. She won't always be Ellie as she is now. She probably won't even remember these early day moments. But I will. I'll remember the little things that make up Ellie and I'll hold them close. When I look back, I won't remember the cranky, the heavy limbs and the sandy eyes from lack of sleep. I'll remember bringing her to bed for snuggles, the weight of her against me, inhaling her sweet baby smell and listening to her tiny voice tell me about her life. I won't even be able to tell her in a way she'll appreciate all the little things I remember and love about her... but I'll hold them in my heart and I'll treasure them.

And I'll make a promise to myself to hold off on the grumpy and enjoy the small moments and pleasures I'm given. Because life is short, babies aren't babies forever, and life is full of little things that should be seized and appreciated when they occur. Such as outfits that look like strawberries... and toddler love and affection.

What about you? Any little things to appreciate in your life lately?

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