Winter Hibernation

The lovely people at Mum's Say recently sent me a Winter hibernation pack to help me enjoy winter with good food, some relaxation and warmth. In the pack was a gorgeous reed diffuser from Freedom and a hardcover copy of Valli Little's Delicious Home Cooking.

 

Of course, with the lovely weather we've been having in Brisbane lately, it hasn't felt like winter at all, but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate lovely things nonetheless!

 

I wasted no time in opening the reed diffuser and setting it up. It's a gorgeous Moroccan oil and jasmine fragrance, and it smells beautiful without being too overpowering. The only complaint I have, and it really is just a tiny one, is that getting the stopper out to set it up practically required a university degree. I had scissors, Mr Fork had a corkscrew and between us we managed it, but I did sustain a cut thumb in the process.  

 

 

The cookbook is just amazing. I can't wait until I can write up a new shopping list and add some new things into the meal plan! Valli's recipes are approachable and definitely things which are achievable to the home cook. There aren't any strange ingredients or overly long methods and the book also includes tips to turn ordinary family meals into something you could put on the cover of a magazine. Yes please!

 

The book is divided into the four seasons, with each season thoughtfully containing starters, mains, desserts and a sample menu. I'm especially pleased that each recipe is accompanied with full colour photographs which almost make me want to lick the page. I'm always disappointed when a cookbook doesn't show you what the finished product should look like. I can't wait to get cooking - there are spinach gnocchi and some corn cakes calling my name, along with an impressively easy looking apricot tart!

 

What about you - how do you enjoy winter?

Teaching boundaries

At a touch over 10 months old, Ellie is getting to the stage where she is asserting herself in different ways. One of the ways she expresses it at the moment is through clinginess. She has developed what day care call a 'case of separation anxiety' and what Mr Fork and I lovingly call 'velcro baby'. She loves to be held. If you put her on the ground or leave the room for a moment when she doesn't want you to, she will wail inconsolably and speedily crawl for you.

I have always respected her as a small person and communicated with her as I would anyone - that is, no baby talk, although I do adjust my words for her age. We have used baby sign language since she was small, and I see no need to sneak away from her or tear her from my arms without explanation. I distinguish between short and long absences by me telling her I am going somewhere for '5 minutes' versus 'bye bye'. Lately both of those announcements/signs have usually been met with real tears and her little arms tightening around me. She is only this small for such a short time - I'm in no rush so I make sure I allow extra time at day care for her to feel comfortable with me leaving, for example.

Another thing Ellie has been doing is reaching out for people now. When she wants to be picked up or held, she will lift her arms and indicate this. If she is being held and wants to go into someone else's arms, she will reach for that person, and if not passed over fast enough will try to leap there herself. If she does not want to go, she will cling on tighter to whoever is holding her and tuck her head into their shoulder.

This is a top down view of Ellie burrowed in for a snuggle.

I personally believe that children are tiny humans and as such they have the same rights as bigger humans do. They are in charge of their bodies and by extension, they are in charge of their own instincts and desires. If Ellie doesn't want to go to another person, who am I to disregard her wishes and hand her over regardless of her feelings? This has caused a fair amount of hurt and consternation among my family and friends, especially my dad, who tried to grab Ellie from me for cuddles only to be met with ear piercing screams when she didn't want to go the other day. She stopped crying as soon as she was back in my arms.

I want Ellie to know unconditionally that intimacy and affection are always hers to control. She should never feel obliged to give it to someone else for their benefit if it isn't what she wants to do. Just because social norms demand she provide affection on cue, I say to her that actually, it is and always will be her choice. I'll stand up for that choice for her too - otherwise I'm just teaching her that actually, no doesn't mean no and mummy will stand silently by while people (friends or strangers) force intimacy that she doesn't want to give.

My hope is that this tiny lesson helps show Ellie that she doesn't need to tailor her responses to please other people. Being held is a personal thing, no matter how innocent the intent. The fact is that babies are so small and helpless that we forget they take in a lot of what goes in around them. By teaching Ellie that she has a choice in physical contact and how to respond to friendly advances, I hope that I am also educating her about gracefully recognising and acknowledging others while respecting her own boundaries. I want to make her understand that if she ever feels uncomfortable or pressured into something, that she has an absolute right to say no - even if it offends. If she doesn't want to have a cuddle with someone then she can wave at them or offer a high five instead. After she was back in my arms and settled again, she spontaneously reached for granddad, and this time went willingly into his arms for cuddles at her instigation.

My daughter may be small, but she is learning about boundaries and about personal space. By allowing her to make her own choices and doing it early and in a consistent manner, I hope this will stand her in good stead in the future. I know her daddy will be very pleased that she has a clear understanding that no really does mean no. After all, in the immortal words of Dr Seuss "a person's a person, no matter how small".

What about you? How do you handle boundaries with children?

Tuesday tidbits

What's been making me smile lately

• When I got on the bus to go to work today, the go card machine was down, so I got a free trip. Score!
• The Tyrannosaurus memes going around at the moment. Especially this one:

 

• And this one:

 

• Watching Ellie get more independent. At swimming she is being taught to climb out of the water herself, to the refrain of "elbows, elbows, tummy, knees". I saw her use the exact same technique to climb the stairs at a playground yesterday, all on her own. My little bean is growing up! 

• Nutella. Mr Fork had a jar of it and was spooning it happily into his gob and offered me a taste. Oh my word, how did I forget how marvellous that stuff was? It's dangerous to have in the house!!

What's been making you smile lately?

What's in a (sur)name?

There was an article published on news.com.au yesterday (a reliable source if ever there was one) about a woman who was travelling with her children overseas. The woman had remarried and hence had a different surname to her children. On going through border patrol, the children were separated from their mother and asked to confirm that she was indeed their mother and not a random lady abducting them. The end result was that for future travel she needs to carry a letter from her ex-husband granting her permission to travel with the children.

This made me think. When I married Mr Fork, I chose not to take his surname. It was just easier for me – I had an established career, my own asset base and frankly, I couldn’t be bothered to go through all the hassle of changing it. Nor did I see any reason why I should have to – I’ve had my name since birth, it’s how everyone knows me and I’m quite attached to it. And I think it’s better than his. Anyway, whatever my reasons, Mr Fork was fine with them as long as any children we had would get his name. I agreed, and so Ellie and he have the same surname, and I have my own.

It doesn’t bother me, although some people were a little offput with my decision and it does seem to confuse a few individuals. My father sends all mail addressed to Mr and Mrs Fork. Sometimes, I’ll get referred to as Mrs Fork when I’m at something to do with Ellie. At the hospital giving birth, I was checked in under my own name, and everyone called him Mr Lisa* (*my surname). That bothered him more than it did me.

I got to thinking though. What makes our society so patriarchal that fathers need to give permission for anything? What makes my husband’s surname better and more meaningful than mine? I actually lobbied quite hard for both of us to change our names when we got married and combine our names into something new (not one of those awful hyphenated names). I was shot down. Turns out, Mr Fork is attached to his name too – while he couldn’t care less about my name, he didn’t want to change his either. Further research showed it would be quite difficult anyway. Did you know that if a woman wants to change her name after marriage/divorce, it’s a simple document and showing of your marriage certificate? If a man wants to do the same, he has to do it through deed poll and all the old certificates (birth etc) are declared null and new ones issued!

What a crock. Just another example of inequality of the sexes. I guarantee you, if a man was travelling through security with children of a different name, I’m sure he wouldn’t have gotten the same treatment as that poor woman. Shame!

Do you have the same name as your children? Has it been a big deal for you?

Salt dough keepsakes, attempt #1

When it comes to presents, I like the home made kind. Well, I also like the shiny kind if you happen to be reading this Mr Fork! But... home made are great too. There is something about a home made gift that says, I took the time to think of you and make this specially. With that in mind, Ellie and I have started thinking about Father's day. Yes, I know it's early, but I like to be prepared in case things don't work out. Lucky, as this idea didn't turn out as well as I'd hoped.

I already used my matching daddy/daughter pyjama pants idea. I then thought that making imprints of Ellie's hands and feet might be fun.  I looked around the Internet for some home made mixtures, and what kept coming up was salt dough. 3 ingredients, what could be easier?

This is how my first attempt turned out

Pink salt dough hand and foot

It's not bad, but I definitely thought it would be easier. The mix above was made with equal parts flour and salt and half the amount of water. I used 1/2 cup flour, 1/2 cup salt and 1/4 cup water, plus a few drops of pink food colouring. Kneaded together, then rolled smooth, I pressed Ellie's hand and foot in then used a small plate to cut the edges for a clean border, before baking at 100C for 3 hours.

I found the mixture dry and crumbly, as evidenced by the rough edges. It never got to the smooth consistency called for when kneading. After baking it the salt crystals are really obvious and make the finished product look grainy on close inspection. That's what happens when you blindly follow a random recipe without further research!

Puppy paw tester

Verdict

• Further searching has shown me that my dough measurements were a bit off. Apparently the best results come from equal parts salt and water, double the flour. So I think my second attempt will be 1/4 cup salt, 1/4 cup water, 1/2 cup flour. That makes sense and it should provide a smoother textured end result
• The next time I do this, I'll be sure to wear gloves. I had some small cuts on my hands from gardening earlier, and kneading the salt dough was NOT kind to them. Also, it was very drying, so if you try it at home, be sure to moisturise after.
• I guess it should be obvious, but this mixture is decorative only - the high salt content makes it not for consumption
• Apparently you can air dry these babies over a few days instead of using a slow oven. I might try that technique too and see how it works out
• I'm not sure about the longevity of the dough, so when I'm happy with the final baked product, I'm going to spray with a clear sealant. In the meantime, I think some grandparents might be getting these first attempts for their own Ellie keepsake

Watch this space for the next attempt!  Have you done anything crafty lately? 

Sunday silliness

I mentioned on Saturday post swimming lessons, we have a cheese and vegemite scroll tradition. This Saturday was a little different as we had a change in routine. Some poor child (not mine thank goodness!) had a little... accident in the pool so our lesson was aborted midway. I have never seen a pool empty so fast let me tell you! Anyway, they scooped the offending object from the pool, but everyone had to leave and lessons are off until the pool has been drained and refilled. I was actually a little speechless that there was such a big deal but on further reflection I'm glad the venue takes hygiene so seriously. I'm not sure what I thought would happen but I suppose I thought they'd add extra chlorine and everyone would carry on. Given that I have to stick my head in that water and blow bubbles at Ellie, yes, I am glad the water will be cleaned.

Instead of our scrolls, instead we went to visit family and take the opportunity to cross a few household chores off our list.

Ellie might have missed out on her scrolls, but our little girl can eat and definitely won't tolerate any type of deprivation! Instead, she was spoiled with home made noodles for lunch.

To make up for it, I was going to make something delicious for Sunday breakfast today, but instead I was spoiled by Mr Fork getting the morning routine started while I got a rare lie in. I was treated to a cup of hot coffee in bed, and when I walked outside, I was greeted with this sight:

For those wondering, that's a piece of Vegemite toast in her hand, and a mixture of Vegemite and banana over her face. And she wonders why I wouldn't kiss those pouty little lips! After breakfast, our house was filled with plenty of giggles and the smell of popcorn as Mr Fork and I introduced Ellie to Monsters Inc, the movie. Maybe she is a little young to appreciate the antics of Scully and Mike, but I know she loved the snuggles and family time we had (truth be told, so did I!).

How was your weekend?

Easy cheesy vegetable muffins

I'm always looking for new ways to tempt Ellie's appetite. She isn't by any means a picky eater (yet!), but I figure, the more things I can get her to eat now, the broader her palate later down the track. I also really appreciate recipes that I can make ahead of time and pull out of the freezer when needed. So with that in mind, I jumped right on these muffins, especially because they're so adaptable and you can add whatever you have to hand.

Ingredients

1 cup SR flour
1 cup milk of your choice
1 cup grated cheese
1 tsp seeded mustard (and salt to taste if you choose)
Assorted vegetables

Method
Mix together all the ingredients. Add whatever veggies you have on hand. The ones I made recently had a small grated zucchini, a fresh corn cob and two small diced red capsicum.

Depending on the veggies added, you may need to add extra flour or milk if the mixture is too wet/dry.

Heap the mixture into your muffin tin. It will make 8 regular muffins or lot of mini muffins (perfect size for little fingers!). Bake at 180 for 25 minutes.

Excuse the picture, Mr Fork helped me fill the muffin moulds and he's not as tidy as I am

I will add that if I was baking these for myself, I'd add more flavour, maybe some sauteed onion and/or some paprika and cumin. However since these are for Ellie (and her developing tastebuds!), I leave the flavours a little more on the bland side, even leaving out the salt.

Just quietly, they're a bit of a hit, and I cheer on the inside when she picks the vegetables out and eats them first.

Do you have any recipes that are a hit with small eaters? Do you need to encourage your children to eat vegetables?